I know I’m clutching at straws here, but I split with narc husband and am divorcing him. We were together for 10 years and have a 7 year old DS. For a bit of context, he was always belittling me, talking over me, telling me that all women are the same and talk too much. It came to a head a few years ago when he told me he’d hit a dog while driving and didn’t tell until 2 months later when the police contacted him with evidence that he’d done this. He nearly lost his driving licence as he ignored the police when they tried contacting him. He promised me not to tell his parents as he didn’t want to upset them. He also sex text an ex when I was 6 months pregnant and shoved me during an argument (this was just before we split up as that was an absolute no no for me).
We got married in 2021. Stupidly I paid for the wedding costs from my savings and my mum helped me buy my dress. At the time we were arranging the wedding my in-laws asked if we could sit down with my parents and work out who was paying what, but I said that we were doing it that way. During the relationship my parents in law were always helping us out with things money wise and were very kind.
I had a lightbulb moment the other day (my friend said it’s a form of PTSD remembering things from the past that I now see in a different light now I’m not with narc ex), but I was chatting to someone about the wedding and how strange it was that my in laws didn’t contribute anything towards the wedding. I’m not money grabbing or anything, it was more that I found it strange after the previous conversation I’d had with in laws. The person I was speaking to said that ex had probably accepted some money from his parents but kept it for himself. I feel silly because that thought had never crossed my mind and I feel naive that this may have happened. If this is the case how would I go about finding out if that’s the case other than mentioning it to his parents. In some ways I feel like I should tell them about the hit and run but I don’t think it’d achieve anything as they’d make excuses for him. My ex’s brother got done for drunk driving on 3 occasions and his parents bailed him out every time. I probably should let it go but I just feel like I’ve been emotionally and financially drained from ex. He’s been telling his family and friends that we split up because ‘I changed’ not because I didn’t trust him. I feel so cheated by it all.