At my wits end

[Essieloulou]

I am at my wits end with my husband , he does absolutley nothing around the house ,his excuse being he works, well so do i i work 8 hrs less than him, i am a carer to my autistuc son and to my elderly parents, one of whom has dementia. At xmas he bought another dog even though i said i didnt want one, he said i had no choice and yes as predicted its me who is cleaning uo after it etc, he has as spent 16000 pound on a online mobile game in tthe last 4 months yes tgats right £16000 i have started to puy a chunk of my wages into a seperate account, i am not going to be paying towards his needless spemding, he doesnt know about this account ans im dreading it when he finds out, i feel like im drowning and apart from running away dont know what to do, i have tried to talk to him but he just tells me to shut up

Have you as yet sought legal advice re separation and divorce?. It’s no
point whatsoever staying with someone like this.

Re your parents is a care home now needed for the person with dementia?. There is such a thing as carer burnout and you have enough on your plate as it is.

Parent not at stage of needing yo be in a home, and leaving is easier said than done at the min , even if i just had some emotional support from him would be something but he seems incapable

He sounds useless. Tbh I would just leave, you’ll be much happier.

Run! Or at least make plans to run! What a tosser £16k!! Family money on a game!

At xmas he bought another dog even though i said i didnt want one, he said i had no choice and yes as predicted its me who is cleaning uo after it etc

That's not how that works at all. Take the dog to a rescue and see a solicitor. Your marriage is over.

Omg you are blind to how bad this is, please don't make excuses and toss this useless sod out. Your life will get instantly better 😣

I know, ive just got so used to being a door mat and i know its not normal behavouir , yet some how he manages to turn it around to be my fault all the time

Divorce him asap Op. If he's spending vast amounts on gaming he will likely fall into debt and take you with him.

Leave him

He's a disgrace, leave him with his dogs. Secure as much money as you can away from him, don't let him know where it is or how much.