Will I get in trouble? Family court related

[Sharletonz]

Will keep some details vague.
DD having overnight contact with her Dad.
Dad is a proven abuser.
DD is reporting emotional and now physical abuse following some of the overnights.
DD has disclosed to school that she's scared to go and the reasons why.
I continue to make DD available each and every time for contact but last few occasions she has been utterly distraught and beyond distressed. She's refused to get out the car and when tried to manhandle she kicks and kicks. When I've managed to get her out she clings onto me around the neck and begs and screams..
Handover takes place at a neutral location next time and I've told her I'm taking her and she has to go.
There has been no active breach of the order as I've taken her to every contact but the last few times contact hasn't taken place because DD is distraught and her father does nothing to comfort and reassure her and doesn't agree to day contact.
I have put in an application to vary the order to stop overnights however I am concerned this is traumatising her completely. I am scared that by contact not actually taking place that he'll say I'm alienating her. I've tried everything to get her to go. School handover isn't an option as DD has been reporting her concerns to school and her head is concerned she'll start school refusing on handover days. We've used third parties and DD is still distraught, used a handover service and she's distraught.
Will I get in trouble? I physically can't force her as she either kicks and screams or clings onto me and doesn't let go.
Waiting for a hearing date for the contact order variation. How can overnights continue.

How old is she?

Have you spoke. To a solicitor? Can you contact CAFCASS…have you used them before?

This isn’t something to ask MN, you need a solicitor’s advice. Yes it could jeopardise your court case and be seen as alienation if you withheld her and that’s why you need proper advice specific to your situation.

Stop please don’t force her any more

That sounds traumatic for you both op.

It's important to take age into account when giving you advice as she could be deemed gillick competent depending on her age meaning she's mature enough to make a decision on attending or not.

I would be talking to a solicitor experienced in family law specifically in relation to abuse cases. I'd also make a report to social services and express your concerns for her welfare when at her dads and try to gather supporting evidence from the likes of women's aid, her school, speak to her gp or health visitor about the negative impact contact is having on her so you can present that to court.

You say her dad was a proven abuser, did he abuse you/ her/ both of you? (Imo abusing a mum is as bad as abusing a child but it's not always looked at that way). Did you ever report him to the police for the abuse or social services? If you didn't would you consider this to strengthen your case? I agree that the school refusal might be an issue or she could become so anxious ahead of home time that she's unable to feel safe in school. Would the school be willing to talk with her dad about the impact this is having on her education and encourage him to consider daytime contact?

I'm sorry op I wish there was an easy fix.

I'm finding it very difficult to understand what I am reading. There is likely abuse going on and you are forcing her into the situation unsupervised? Surely you're her mother and are supposed to be her safe space?

Very difficult to withhold contact when it's court ordered. Can be seen as parental alienation.

She's 6.

She's not being withheld at all. She's being made every at every contact. She's just been too distraught to handover and he does nothing to comfort and reassure her.

@Sharletonz I'm sorry, but I wouldn't care if someone told me it was was parental alienation, there is no way in this world I would be sending my 6 year old in to that situation. You're meant to be someone who looks after her, advocates for her, and someone she can trust!

Yes I am. But you clearly have no knowledge of the family court do you. I do that and risk a transfer of residence to him because it can be construed I'm not promoting contact. That's how it works.

I've put in an urgent application to get the contact order varied but in the interim I still have to abide by the order.

@Sharletonz I'm so sorry you & your daughter are having to go through this.
Family court is unfit for purpose & it's fucking outrageous that you have to do this due to the court order.
Sending hugs & solidarity.

Who has the daughter reported the emotional and now physical abuse to and what action are the authorities taking about this?

You've started a few threads on this recently.

PS can you get any support from your local DA charity regarding your situation? I wonder if you had support from anyone in the past when you were in the relationship. Some DA charities have family court specialists & even groups who might be able to offer support/advice around all of this.

What have school said . If she is disclosing abuse it should be reported . This is basic safeguarding.

Speak to a solicitor . I was told 15 years ago ( so not necessarily up to date ) that contact could be stopped for safety reasons .

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/urgent-court-hearings-about-child-arrangements-cb2

you can make a emergency court application

I'd be calling the police about the physical abuse of your daughter and making a statement. You need to build up proper a proper evidence base so court doesn't view it alienation.

Did you have another thread like this OP?