My other half’s parents don’t like me and make it very known, how would you feel about your children and them?

[Theonlywayisup22]

They don’t like me, especially the mum. She was annoyed from the very beginning before knowing anything about me really. I am not good enough. I know longer care about their opinion but it did hurt for a while. I get on well with the grandparents, they are nice and always been very welcoming as are most of the wider family.

They dont want photos with my children (their grandchildren), they don’t come and visit them. They may come on a birthday if they know I’m out of the house. If we visit it’s a shit atmosphere as they ignore me. My parter is oblivious and I think used to this but I am not.

I’m wondering if they don’t like my kids because they have come from me. I really went to reduce contact to the absolute bare minimum because if there is any of this feeling transferred onto them then it’s bloody awful. My partner may send photos which is fine. Other then that there isn’t much else
as they don’t contact me to catch up with them and they never pop over despite being 15 mins away. Im at home full time with our children. I used to send photos until they made it known they don’t like me and I stopped.

What would you do? Leave it up to him to
promote contact?

Would you give people like this access into your precious family?

Leave it. It’s not your problem.

If he wants to have a relationship with them, he can do so. Why subject yourself to such poor treatment?

My in laws suck and I went along with it for a long time but after their last visit my husband cut them off. They never liked me and fil told nasty derogatory jokes about my country. There was no way I could subject my child to that

I think they are in his ear about the fact I don’t promote them anymore. I really would want loving grandparents in their lives. But they deserve the effort made to see them and love them because they are great kids. They just aren’t making any effort.

they know where you live. tell them when your partner is there that they are more than welcome to pop in for a cup of tea anytime. If they want to see their grandkids then your partner can arrange to take them. Do not be your partner's secretary. Are your parents around to fill the gap? Don't have toxic people in your life

I think you have a DP problem. He should step up for you and tell them to stop misbehaving.

I think it’s difficult for him. They’ve been his parents all his life and I’ve been around what 4-5 years. They’ve also spun it to him that I’m the one being funny and pulled away. I can’t be bothered to explain it because I don’t want to make a big thing out of it. In a way I think they want me making a thing out of it so they can say see look she’s a bit crazy.

Just playing devils advocate, DO you make an effort? Have you put blockers in the way? Relationships go both ways. You speak of them in terms of ‘the mum’, ‘the grandparents’, there’s no suggestion that you see them as part of your own extended family. Have you tried addressing the problem?