But honestly, it was glorious. Now that I’m in my 30s, I can count my friends on one hand, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. With fewer people in my life, there aren’t any high expectations to worry about or disappointments to feel—especially since I’ve cut out all the dead weight. I never needed or wanted a big celebration anyway cuz when I was a child no one showed up to my birthday, and that feeling of rejection anxietyhas stayed with me ever since.
In my 20s, I was surrounded by superficial friends and people who didn’t treat me well, so letting them go was a relief. Life’s too short to keep people around just because of shared history—that goes for friendships as much as relationships, though I think people often forget that. Now, it’s all about quality over quantity. I don’t need a big celebration, but the few genuine birthday wishes from the people who truly matter mean so much more than the dozens of empty Facebook messages I used to get.
It took me long years to figure out that you have to let go of what doesn’t matter to make room for what does. Honestly, realizing that has been the best gift. I don’t have to rely on anyone but myself, and having a few good friends is enough. It feels good to finally be in control.