Well now I;ve written that title maybe actually on paper it isn't but I need some persepctive.
DH and I met in our 20s he was my first and only ever boyfriend. We were both climbing the career ladder. But we split up after 2 years together because he felt I was too young and he wanted to party (although ended up going out with an older woman and trying IVF with her?!).
I didn't really forget him and five years later he got back in touch. We started going out together but this time everything was down to me - he had alchol and drug problems which had developed from the relationship.
Anyway that is all old so why do I bring it up. He's managed to kick his additions and is even on a jab to lose weight.
He's worked in some great jobs and we bought house and more importantly have two lovely DDs. One 16 the other 12. BUT two years ago.. he gave up his job to do a pet project, which will last three years and may or may not make money - it will finish in the next year. We do have income from a rented property but it doesn't cover all our expenses
Why am I going on about money - well becasue I worry about money. Since he gave up his job I've got more and more in debt - having had no debt at all two and half years ago. My job simply doesn't pay enough. I wanted us to cut our cloth etc but DH wants to go on nice holidays and if I don't agree he has just booked things anyway. I'm so worried about money and another thing. We haven't had sex for two years. He has put on weight but now looking back I realise our sex drives were never quite the same. In our early relationship - and I lost my virginity to him - I remember going to bed early and he would stya up wathcing TV or playing computer games. When we got back together it was good for about a year but since then not so much. I really just want a husband that gives me cuddles and I can have some physical relationship with. I still have a lot of that kind of energy, I also really want to work on project but its creative and I don;'t have the mental space for it because I need to pay off the credit cards and sort things out. My DH does do DIY and he's not lazy with housework. In many ways we are compatible.
Why am I so unhappy - it's only money.? What can I do to get happy again. I love my daughters and I feel compassion and a kind of love for my husband. I don't want to get divorced as I'm Catholic- my parents got divorced and it almost destroyed me as a child (I was 7 and my DM had an affair with the man that became my stepdad).
I'm not able to work for worrying about everything.