I think it's done.

[Finality]

5 years, 2 children.

So much love at the start, so much joy. So much naivety at how things can be so sour between two people at the end.

5 years of increasingly bad behaviour. Both to me and the kids. 5 years of feeling like I'm losing myself.

I don't know how I'm going to afford rent and bills. I don't know how I'm going to deal with so little sleep by myself.

But I think it'll still be easier than it is now.

It feels freeing, in a way. I think I've already cried all the tears I have.

If you were/are a single parent, can you please give me some words of encouragement or stories of your experience?

Ahh lovey, you’ll honestly be okay. I ended up a single parent to four, but realised so quickly that it was easier than dealing with them AND a manchild. When’re on yourself, go to bed as early as you can whilst they are wee, know that to them your are wonderful. You are wonderful.

It’s easier being a single mum and living your life how you want to without having to deal with all their crap, especially if it’s abusive and there’s a horrible atmosphere in the house. You don’t have to consider him. You don’t have to live according to his rules. You don’t have to look after a manchild. You don’t have to worry about the kids hearing you fight. They will be happier too. And if you can have a good coparenting relationship, you’ll get time off too when he has the kids. If your relationship is bad, it’s better being a single parent. You can get help with rent, etc whilst you get on your feet financially. Go online and find out what you can claim. If there’s abuse, speak to women’s aid and make an exit plan.

https://benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/survey/1/57aa21d2-07d3-4ca9-92f1-71ac252eb4de

I agree, it will be so much easier when you’re not in that toxic environment. Short pain for long term gain.

I’m sorry op, that’s rough. But two kids and a twat is waaay harder than just two kids - you will be happier in the long run without him dragging you down. Deep breaths op, and plan for the future.

I ended marriage a couple of years ago. He had turned from a loving, caring man to a miserable git. Not only that but any attempts to help him were refused, he’d prefer everyone else was miserable too rather than him cheering up.
Since then…okay, yes it’s tight financially. I get a bit of UC but not loads. Don’t forget you get things like council tax discount and I found I got better deals for things like broadband when I said I was on UC. It actually motivated me to get a better job - got promoted and a pay rise.
It took a while for the dust to settle. DD (11yo now) says although she was upset at first, she can see that everyone is better for the split. It’s so nice to just relax at home
instead of treading on eggshells!
I would advise - get your ducks in a row. Use Entitled to as pp suggested. Look at where you can save money (I did things like cancel the expensive TV package). It’s not always easy but for me it’s been worth it.

Some positive points and experiences on this thread @Finality 💐

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/divorce_separation/5114650-things-ive-noticed-since-the-divorce?page=1