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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

PARTNER WANTS TO GO OUT DRINKING EVERY WEEKEND WITH HIS FRIENDS, I JUST WANT SOME QUALITY TIME WITH HIM..

15 replies

TrashPanda22 · 04/09/2024 13:11

Bit of context. Me and my partner have recently had some relatioship struggles that we managed to work through. He took some time away at his mother's house. He came home 2 weeks ago.

Since he came home i dont feel we have had any quality time alone as he works away 4 days on 4 days off. The weekend gone i had arranged to have a few glasses of wine with a friend up the road (i never do this literaly a first for me) My SO turned to me and said "since your drinking on the weeked i want to go out with my friend tomorrow" (This was not an issue just felt very lst minute and he had literally just gotten home from work at 8pm.

Anyway all of this happened. After i had been for a few drinks with my friend he seemed off and turned over and went to sleep when i returned home instantly.
He has now said he wats to go out drinking again this weekend with his friend. My issue is he already knows i hd plans that day to take our daughter shopping to spend birthday money and i had already asked if we could have some quality time together. I asked if him drinking every weekend was going to become a regular thing. it's spmething he always stated he would never be interested in as hes not a big drinker. But he has this new friend who has already caused issues in our relationship and no matter how i have tried to explain he doesent seem to want to listen.

I have suggested he ask his parents to maybe look after the kids so we could have time together as a couple and he said he gave up asking becausr they never could look after them. So What do i do? just give up? suffer in silece feeling like he just doesent want to spend time with me. He says watching tv in bed is spending time with him. Not when hes sat playing games on his phone.

OP posts:
FoxtrotOscarKindaDay · 04/09/2024 13:13

Send him back to his mother's house.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 04/09/2024 13:15

I don't think he really wants to be with you.

teenmaw · 04/09/2024 13:15

OP do not beg this loser for his attention. Time to cut your losses and move on. He's not interested in family life, take the hint and go be happy.

yeesh · 04/09/2024 13:16

Bin him off

TrashPanda22 · 04/09/2024 16:22

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 04/09/2024 13:15

I don't think he really wants to be with you.

Crazy thing is when he left for (some space in his words) why did he come back. He had no pressure from anyone. Don't get me wrong he's been loving but I feel he now thinks it's totally fine to do what he wants when he wants

OP posts:
TrashPanda22 · 04/09/2024 16:24

I would just like to add

He also stated he was going to ask people he meets. Make and female what they think about a man going out drinking on a weekend. Every weekend I would love to hear how he words things. I feel things between us are dying. I have loved this man for 6 years of my life. No engagement ring nothing.

I have given everything I am to this man and I feel I have nothing back

OP posts:
Pippifer · 04/09/2024 16:26

TrashPanda22 · 04/09/2024 16:24

I would just like to add

He also stated he was going to ask people he meets. Make and female what they think about a man going out drinking on a weekend. Every weekend I would love to hear how he words things. I feel things between us are dying. I have loved this man for 6 years of my life. No engagement ring nothing.

I have given everything I am to this man and I feel I have nothing back

That is sooo petty and not at all what a loving partner would do! I’m sorry he’s being like this, you’re better off without him.

Newgirls · 04/09/2024 16:28

He sounds really immature sorry.

LeoOakley · 04/09/2024 16:28

TrashPanda22 · 04/09/2024 16:24

I would just like to add

He also stated he was going to ask people he meets. Make and female what they think about a man going out drinking on a weekend. Every weekend I would love to hear how he words things. I feel things between us are dying. I have loved this man for 6 years of my life. No engagement ring nothing.

I have given everything I am to this man and I feel I have nothing back

I urge you to value yourself more and end this relationship.

He really doesn't care about you.

Pumpkinpie1 · 04/09/2024 16:31

It takes two people to make a relationship work.
It’s hard work at the best of times.
Your boyfriend is not prepared or values your relationship enough to put the work .

He wants a single life with a partner who is low maintenance.
I think you need to rethink if you want a partner or a manchild

Fynix · 04/09/2024 16:50

It sounds like he maybe came back because he didn't want to live with his mum or his mum made it clear he could only stay temporarily and had to follow rules.

BigDahliaFan · 04/09/2024 16:52

Fynix · 04/09/2024 16:50

It sounds like he maybe came back because he didn't want to live with his mum or his mum made it clear he could only stay temporarily and had to follow rules.

He's hoping you'll put up with his bad behaviour. Call his bluff, say you don't want him back. He's being immature. I think you need to start behaving like you have split up. Sorry.

pilates · 04/09/2024 16:53

Sounds like your flogging a dead horse - sorry 😔

Hatty65 · 04/09/2024 16:58

Send him back to his mother's and move on, for God's sake.

He's an immature twat who thinks he can treat you like shit and is not prepared to put any work into having a relationship with you.

You can do better. Tell him to go away. You'll get nowhere with this dead weight round your neck. He can drink with whoever he likes once he's fucked off for good.

CanYouHearThatNoise · 04/09/2024 17:06

His behaviour tells you all you need to know - he doesn't want to be a decent partner, and certainly isn't interested in being a dad. In short, he wants to live a single life. Let him go - to his parents, a mate's, or anywhere else. You've wasted 6 years, are you going to waste any more time?

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