How should I leave an abusive relationship?

[Butterflygal123]

Anyone who has left an abusive relationship, can you please advise? I have spoken with local domestic abuse charities in the past but I would like to know what MN can suggest.
For background, I have been with partner for 4.5 years. DC is 1. Issues started during pregnancy.
Thanks ❤️

What kind of abuse is it? Is he physically abusive?

What is your marital status? Do you work or have savings?

Mortgage or renting? If you're not married or renting, who's name is the house in?

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.

Do you have friends/family you can get support from?

It has been physical on one occasion (pushing and grabbing), mostly aggressive behaviour and name calling. He also puts me down and will question me a lot.

He has recently engaged with a DV programme which will involve counselling, however this won’t start until December.

He says that he is sorry for his behaviours but we have had two arguments recently, and he has been very hurtful and doesn’t seem to really understand the repercussions of his actions.

I have older family members, a few close friends - no siblings or anyone I could stay with.

I have a considerable amount of savings. We were going to buy a property and I was going to gift the deposit, but I would have to sign a declaration to say I have no claim on the property. This doesn’t feel right given our history.

Abuse tends to escalate when you're leaving and in the first year of leaving. Do not tell him you're leaving.

I would find suitable accommodation and arrange for your stuff to be packed on a day he's not there.

I would then move. Let him apply to court for access and don't tell him your address. Block his number and on social media.

The very first thing you need to do is to sort out where you are going to live.

Are you safe at the moment?

How can you be helped into leaving your abuser?. Your son will also thank you for doing this. Use your family and Women’s Aid to get away.

I would not hold out any hope that a dv programme will have any effect on him in either the short or long term. These are not answers to domestic violence which is what you are describing here. Abuse us about power and control and he wants absolute over you and your child.

Do not ever buy a property with your abuser let alone sign something to the effect you have no claim on the property. Keep that money and use it wisely as both your escape fund and to buy your own home.