Very early dating question

[FallenFigs]

Met a guy on an app, had two dates (close together) a couple of weeks back then I went away. On second date, we sort of earmarked this coming weekend to meet up again.

Since then we’ve kept in touch. He‘s also had some bad news. So, the weekend is approaching and we don’t have a firm plan. He is awaiting an update on a family situation today. So do I a) leave him to it, let him deal with the things he has going on and let him instigate chat or b) find an appropriate time say something about pending date and affirm I’d like to see him again?

I don’t want to be tactless by charging in about frivolous dates when he has serious stuff going on, but at the same time would like to see him again and maintain momentum if possible. Also a face to face chat is way easier for tough stuff than text.

what would you do?

PS yes the cynical part of me is alive to the fact this could all be nonsense. Choosing to believe it’s genuine whilst being aware there some idiots out there.

I’d wait for him to update. I was in a similar situation to this & waited. When the family stuff was sorted then we resumed things properly & now an established relationship.

I agree with @FallenFigs / despite your intentions or how well the message is worded, it could feel like added pressure (that he doesn't need).

I'd continue to text as you are and ask how he's doing etc without mentioning meeting up

I'd say "absolutely no pressure, your family situation comes first, but I'm enjoying our text chats and whenever you are ready I'd love to meet up again."

Good advice, thank you. I’ve gone with @Towerofsong ’s option. Felt more authentic to me, to be clear on where I am too.

I'd also advise something like this.
Saying nothing about meeting up is also sending a message, which he can interpret any way he wants to. He could take it as a lack of interest on your part, or maybe even that his family issues are a turn off for you.
I'd let him know that you absolutely understand that he may have other priorities right now, but whenever it feels right for him, you'd love to see him again.

Yes I did this route and had a nice response back.

I know I can be anxious in these early situations, which is absolutely mine to deal with, and it’s helpful to have other perspectives so I can be a little more rational.

Is the family situation likely to be resolved sooner rather than later? I would just be concerned that he might leave you hanging on and you end up wasting your time when he really isn’t in the right place to be dating.

Yeah I’d still be chatting to and dating others in the meantime in case this turns out to be bullshit (or in case you have another date and it doesn’t go so well) and you’ve wasted time and potential matches while you were waiting for him. You don’t need to tell him that of course, unless you meet someone you have a better connection with and want to make that exclusive. Dating is a numbers game so don’t put all your eggs in his basket while he’s distracted - chances are he’s also texting other matches and he’s getting lots of sympathy for his situation, real or not!

You did the right thing. My partner of ten years postponed our second date as his sister had her dog PTS and wanted to spend the evening together. I didn't believe him but didn't make a fuss, turned out six months later when I met the family to have been perfectly true.

@Peoniesandpinot potentially serious. Yes, I’m conscious of the time-wasting thing.

@SnowflakeSmasher86 oh definitely, not putting eggs in anyone’s basket. Very aware this could all be nonsense.

It‘s a shame that the modern dating world is like this. Plan for the worst, hope for the best. Not hope, I’m not holding a handle for a guy I’ve only met twice by any stretch. But it does make you a little guarded, that’s for sure.

I see you've messaged but that's what I'd have written too for most situations. I'd leave it in his court and consider continuing dating if he isn't able to meet fairly soon. Hope it works out

Thanks everyone, this has been helpful.