So confused 😕 please help

[Mum2threexx]

So yesterday I was taken into hospital in the morning with severe pain, after investigation they told me I need to stay in because I need a op in the morning, I'm scared, lonely, and sad as I'm missing my boys first day of school. Anyway I started having random message's last night (keeping in mind my current situation) off my partner who's home with the kids, asking me what I'd been doing on messenger, who have I been cheating with, saying he don't trust me, saying its over all this was out the blue, completely random and now I just don't want to be here but if I don't have the op I could end up seriously unwell, he's made me even more anxious and upset, iv hardly slept not knowing where its all come from, its almost like he joys from hurting me at mu lowest points (he cheated on me with his ex while I was pregnant in hospital with my son and had pneumonia and my mom was very very poorly going through cancer) he fell out with me then out the blue, and got a feeling he's going to do the same again 😢 I'm constantly watching the ring door bell because I don't want any old shut invited into our home with our kids there, I'm going out my mind 😢 💔

I'm sorry. Boyfriend sounds awful.

What is your living situation at home? Can you kick him out if the house when you get back from the hospital?

Hope your procedure goes well and you're feeling better soon.

The boyfriend doesn't sound like he improves your life much! Get rid as soon as you're able. Best wishes.

If you want an armchair diagnosis it sounds like narcissistic abuse. You are in hospital getting lots of attention and no one is paying any attention to him. However if he creates some kind of fake crisis he can at least get your full attention back. You’ll probably find that he has a way of constantly drawing the attention back to himself at every major event or celebration. In most anecdotes I’ve heard the narcissist usually waits for the patient to arrive home before kicking off a stink, but your one is getting in early

This is abusive. He knows where and how vulnerable you are. It seems the ones who cheat are the worst for these accusations. Your children are witnessing his behaviour, you need to recover and LTB.

either way you need to leave him. Who owns the house

Screen shot everything he’s sent you and send it to your friends and his mother with a “WTF? I’m in hospital ffs!” message. Let them know that you’re blocking him until after your surgery… You’re not well enough to have to deal with this kind of abusive fuckery. Hope the surgery goes well and that you are well enough to leave this man soon.

Thank you all, iv been thinking about it all night and I have honestly had enough, seems a shame to throw 7 years away but I can't keep up with the mental abuse no more

It would only be a shame if he was bringing good things into your life. He sounds like he’s been nothing but trouble.

@Mum2threexx It would be more of a shame to throw your futures away by staying with him.

I had an ex who did this. Classic narcissistic abuse.
Every time the whole world didn't revolve around him, he'd create a huge relationship crisis so all the attention would go to him.
They do it to condition you to completely forget about every single need you have. You can only have peace of mind when you're neglecting yourself and living for his happiness.
I hope you don't plan on staying with him. I left 7 years ago and my life has been so much better since. I'm still amazed at how I ever lived with him and didn't see how toxic he was.

I came out of hospital yesterday he was gone today :)

That's a relief. I hope you can manage with all that you have to do and that you won't have to have any contact with him.