Friendship over or am I dramatic?!

[confusingfriends]

Hi all, I would really love your opinions on my friendship (or maybe lack of??) with my supposed best friend of 10 years!!

We met during university and were completely inoperable. Every party, we went together. Every lecture, we went together. It was so nice to have finally met someone that understood me and vice versa, we've bonded many times over how thankful we were to find each other - even all these years after uni!

Fast forward to 2023 - now. She's always been a bit crap at replying to texts, but I started to not receive replies for 2 - 3 weeks on end. I put it down to her being busy at first - we both don't have children yet but are very career focused in similar fields (both work from home - we live 20 minutes apart too!). But after a while, I started to get annoyed about it and ended up asking her what was going on, which she replied saying that she was having family issues and felt anxious picking up her phone. Alright. Fair enough. But then I would see her hanging out with other mates, constantly online on WhatsApp etc. so felt like a bit of a lie.

It's now been 2 1/2 months since she last messaged me, and the she left my last message as read. Is it too late for me to reach out and try to see what's going on? I still see her going out with other mates so she's clearly fine and well enough to do that, so I don't know if I should waste my time. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, and I've always been the one to reach out and let her know how important our friendship is to me etc. and I'm honestly a bit tired of being the one to do that, but it feels a shame for things to end when I have no idea as to what's happened!

It feels like she's moved on. She earns considerably more than I do at the moment (around 60k more) and has a newer group of mates that all own property, are engaged/married whereas I'm still in the process of buying and have no interest in marriage. I don't know if that's just me reaching for an explanation but she has definitely changed since becoming closer with this group (gone on long haul holidays, camping etc. with them but never invited myself and my partner - he also knows the same people so not exactly strangers!!)

Sorry this is so waffley! I just needed to dump my feelings out into the world!

Never chase after someone who clearly isn't bothered. She's deliberately ignoring you and I'm sorry. It's really shit behaviour from her and it would be a deal breaker for me, personally.

Move forward and focus on creating new friendships and investing in ones you already have.

I know this is bothering you but don't waste anymore time on this.

Some people are able to turn their back and cut people off and don't feel any need to explain themselves. Unfortunately I know more than one person like this. Personally I don't get it as I'm nothing like that, but it's a reality.

You have made the effort and they have ignored you. I know it's hard when you want an explanation for something but try to move on from this as it's not worth it. You deserve better from a friendship

Based on what you said I agree she has moved on. You need to do the same. It's tough when you are so close and have such a great friendship. It sounds like it worked for her when you were in the same place but now she feels differently.

For her to tell you the why of her moving on would sound awful to her (money, property) so she lies and hopes you'll get the message and disappear

It's painful but also good (for you) that you now know who she is

Sometimes people just grow apart. It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. You're just not the same people any more and now she's got other, closer friends. I don't think it's too late to reach out if you want to but equally I wouldn't be if it was me as I'd think she isn't interested.