Partner working away - struggling

[ARR14]

My partner works away in the events industry often weeks at a time with ‘little phone signal’. This means for weeks at a time we may only speak with a couple of texts a day.

partner enjoys the work, events and festivals, but I feel detached when I’m left behind working, looking after the kids and unable to get to the gym to take my mind off it.

How do others in the same boat cope?! I find myself getting a massive case of the green-eyed monster and worry my partner is making close bonds with other female colleagues due to the nature of the work being around each other constantly and is hardly communicating (my insecurity I know). When partner is back home, I get the tired and grumpy version from the lack of sleep from working festivals which makes it all the more difficult to not get resentful…

You have kids. How much does your partner do with the kids when s/he is back?

I don't think theres any point having a partner who isn't actually physically there for you, sorry.

Initially, the bare minimum as he’s recovering from being tired..have two school age kids

Not good enough.

I'd allow one "recovery from travel" day then he needs to be fully on board with family life.

He'd have to be making a lot of money for me to put up with this.

Has your partner always worked in this industry? Has the pattern ever since you met him been one of him working away at events?
I must say to live with a partner who has this life style requires a tremendous amount of trust. And a tremendous amount of unselfishness not to be jealous of the life style. I couldn't do it.

It seems very unfair that you are getting the worst if both worlds: a partner absent and not being able to communicate part of the time and a grumpy and tired partner the rest of the time. At the very least he could make an effort when he is at home to behave in a decent way with you. Have you talked to him about his behaviour when with you because I don't see why you should have to put up with at least that aspect of it.

You say you have children. Are they his children? Because it doesn't sound as though it can be a great lifestyle for them if he is absent and then unpleasant to be around when he is at home.

I would really be questioning the point of the relationship when there doesn't seem much in it for you or the children.

Following as my DH works away for nine months of the year. I struggle also with crippling anxiety anyway and we have two school age children.
Have other circumstances at the moment that are incredibly difficult.
It’s really really tough . I don’t get envious of him being away but I miss him. We all miss him. It’s not easy at all.

the festival work has picked up post-covid so that’s become a newer thing. We seem to discuss this every time he returns as I feel so angry that I get the worst version of him when I’ve had to carry the load in his absence. He just says he can’t help the tiredness and he needs to recover

*little phone signal"? Nah, I'm not buying that at all.
Not that many places you can't get a signal these days. You can turn on your 5G. He us choosing not to be contactable.