Cheated on for a year

[Elizabeth2024]

Hi, I guess I’m looking for sympathy and advice.
Been seeing a man for 2 years, a little on and off. Really loved him and we got on great but maybe thought he was a bit avoidant as distant sometimes.
Asked him at various times if he wanted to end or was seeing someone else. He said no. Found out on Thursday, by pushing that he had been seeing someone, he said very on and off and not long and not serious. Said actually doesnt want a relationship with anyone at the moment as trying to find himself. I was very upset but calm and he left to go home. We don’t live together. I was curious of course and managed to find out who she was on Facebook. All indications were that it was more serious than he said and going on for over a year behind my back. Texted him to confront, he quickly phoned and said please don’t tell her about us, he loved her and sees a fantastic future with her. Begged me. I had thought back and asked questions. The kayaking holiday he went on with friends in July? No, he went away with her. The old lady’s dog he walked and lawn he cut on a regular basis, to show me how helpful and kind he was? No, her dog and her lawn. Weekends away to see his parents or hiking by himself? With her, including for her birthday. We never stopped having sex and he was big into sexting, basically sleeping and seeing me all the time whilst seeing and sleeping with her. But didn’t stop either. This is just the tip of the iceberg on what I’ve found out, he lies as easy as breathing. He would come to mine and pretend to use the bathroom but was texting her.
So another lie was to say it wasn’t at all serious with her. He said he loved her but was more than happy to keep both of us going at his convenience for a year and only owned up as I really pushed him. Since found some real bad scumbag things he did in previous relationships including two affairs whilst his sons were babies. His wife left him for that. Definitely a a bit of a sex addict but with all the lies, a definite psychopath. Threatened to post a naked photo of me online if I tell the new woman about his behaviour. Warn her actually.
He is begging me to be “kind” and let alone so he can have a happy life. I don’t think I should do that?

Well it's your decision completely, to tell her or not. His threat about the nude picture posting if followed through would get him into a world of trouble, you might mention that to the scumbag.

Tell her. That is doing the kind thing. She absolutely has the right to know she's been decieved. He'll do it to her again, so she needs to be warned before she commits to him for life.

Btw, tell him you will have him criminally charged with revenge porn if he posts your picture. Not only that, you will tell everyone he knows all the things he has done. Say you will paper his neighbourhood with flyers describing his threats and his cheating.

I would want to know if someone was cheating on me,so tell her! X

Did he make that threat about releasing the nude verbally? If it’s via text I’d definitely include that in your message to her. What a dick. Hope you are ok, you deserve so much better.

It was a verbal threat. I should have recorded the conversation. I will any future ones.

Did he text that threat to post your naked photo or did he say it during a call?

If he texted it - I'd be ringing 101 and showing them the proof.

See how he likes a visit from the police.

Wanker