Life falling apart

[Bm2015]

Hi, I have a 8 week old baby and 2 kids from previous relationship,My mom died 5 weeks ago she was my best friend. I’m devastated, while dealing with everything going on my relationship has fell apart I was engaged . Since baby was born and my mom passed away my fiance wasn’t there for me, constantly drinking and taking cocaine. I think he has a problem for sure. He’s promised me for years he would give up but hasn’t. He’s paranoid and controlling he try’s to mess with my head. It’s more emotional abuse, I can’t take anymore, he’s broke my heart when I’m already grieving. This isn’t the life I wanted. I watched the new movie ‘ it ends with us’ and realised that it has to end, he is going to make my life hell and I can’t deal with it all anymore and tonight I’ve blocked on my phone as I can’t deal with him no longer. I know this is wrong, please Tell me it gets easier.. don’t really know what I’m asking 🙁🙁 if it wasn’t for my kids I don’t know what I’d do 😭

Op I am so sorry for your loss. You are clearly having a tough time, yet so strong reaching out. Its a brave thing when there is so much going on.

Does your partner live with you?
If not, then you are spot on that he will never choose you or the kids, it will always be the drugs. Whoever he displays in order to reel you in and claim he loves you, believe me he does not, its all self serving to get either money, or sex.

The best thing for you to do, is take cut your losses being his GF, and if he will sober up, that is also when he can have access to the baby. Right now you risk SS getting involved if anything was to happen. Say, if he becomes abusive towards you seeing you are ending your relationship, if you get scared of him, protect you and your children and log it with the police, this will help if he decides to be difficult. Call Womans aid too. You can get in contact with your local one, its normally on their website. They are amazing and will be able to give you advise that fits.

I've been there! Drug dealers at door tyres getting slashed etc,don't have him back I did over 90 times with the promise of change,it only ever got worse and worse. All that mattered to my ex was his addiction,it's three years since I kicked him out for good and honestly it's the best thing I ever did. They are good at what they do the lying,love bombing,gaslighting, ghosting,manipulation and narcissistic tendencies just to mention a few! I always knew when my ex was lying because his mouth was moving! Look after you and your children xx

Sorry I didn't answer your question,it does get easier but it takes time,I blocked my ex and he's still blocked today,he has rung a couple of times from an unknown number and I answered he was demanding to see our child (who was 9 at the time) I refused unless he provided proof he was clean. I told him when he is clean he can have contact (supervised at 1st) but he's never asked since and has actually ignored our child in the street!

Sending hugs. Losing your mum, a new baby and a broken relationship is an enormous amount to deal with. Well done on cutting him out, you've made a brave decision but it sounds like a good one. So very sorry for the loss of your mum 🌹xx 😔

You absolutely are not wrong to block an abusive coke addict. The last thing you need while you're grieving is to put up with his bullshit. It's fine to end it with him.
I am so sorry about your mum. I've been there.