Left partner after meeting ex colleague!!

[Wynethrose]

I posted a couple of months ago about my long term partner meeting up with an ex work colleague and lying about it, I found out on the same day he was meeting her that another ex work colleague had messaged him and they started remisncing about their old relationship ( they'd had a fling before we met) they were saying they were soulmates and that they'd eventually end up together, I was completely shocked if I'm honest, he hasn't seen this woman for god knows how many years and then they start declaring their love for one another !!
I confronted him with the information and he just said yeah I've always loved her and thought we'd eventually be together!! Our relationship hasn't been great the last few years but his behaviour has totally surprised me..
I moved out three weeks ago and am now renting a small flat , I'm struggling tbh and I keep thinking I should of stayed even though we had problems, I just need some reassurance really that I can do this and it'll all be ok...

So you were the consolation prize!?
you’ve had a lucky escape and can now build a life for yourself where you can make decisions and find someone who loves you, for you
good luck!

He told you he loved another woman.
He lied to you about meeting up with some other woman.
They aren't minor problems OP.
He doesn't love you and he isn't trustworthy.
You did the right thing leaving him.
It's bound to be hard at first . But things will get better and you will be able to build a new life for yourself.

He told you in the clearest terms possible that he’s always loved another woman and thought they’d eventually be together. Why would you want to be with someone who is treating you as a second place prize?

stay strong, you have absolutely done the right thing.

He told you he loves someone else,so it can't work,you have done the right thing x

You did the right thing in leaving without doubt. Congratulate yourself on keeping your boundaries and self respect sky high! He sounds an untrustworthy, disloyal flake and you are well rid. You can do this and it will be more than OK, wishing you all the best for a very happy future.

first of all well done you for leaving. Don’t let your heart now rule your head you are strong and got this :)

if he loved you, you would be the person he now saw spending the rest of his life with and wouldn’t have been brutally honest with you.

you deserve so much better has he tried to contact you since

You did the right thing OP if you want the chance to meet someone who doesn’t want to be with anyone else besides you.

He sounds like a knob and tbh I expect he said that thinking you would break up because he was too cowardly to call time himself.

Until the arsehole has begged and cried and shown you that it has all been a mistake then keep your head high and keep moving forward. It’s a great time to enrol on a course to learn new skills. And meet new people.

Go no contact. You will be OK. You deserve more than the half-hearted commitment he was prepared to give you.

💐

Thanks for the replies , I know in my heart I've done the right thing.
I was with him for 25 years and it's going to take awhile to separate myself from him totally, our lives are entwined because of kids and grandchildren. He's messaged me quite a few times about how to sort stuff in the house like washing machine , tumble dryer etc and even said if I was bored then we could meet up for a coffee, I said no to the coffee, I said we need to find our new normal first.
Life is very different but I feel happier to some extent even though I haven't got much money now, what I have got is mine.
I just want to say to anybody feeling unhappy in a relationship long or short term that you have options , don't ever think you haven't, I'm 55 and I'm starting again but I'm determined to enjoy the life I have left 😊.

Good for you!!. You showed him and now hes realising he's not so smart. Let OW help work machines etc. Good Luck going forward.

I remember your previous post, well done for getting out! You were together a long time so it's bound to take time to settle into your new life. I'm 2 years on now and feel so much better than I initially did, remind yourself often why you left! Do things you enjoy and get out and meet new people - doesn't have to be pubs.. a new hobby or likeminded people will do you the world of good. Also delay in responding to his messages, leaving him hanging and remind him what he's lost. I wish you all the best in your new home xx

No no. You did the right thing. Stay as far away from that midlife crisis as you can!

OP, you absolutely did the right thing and you are amazing.
Do not be used by him as his emotional crutch.
You are absolutely correct to tell him crack on and sort himself out.
Of course it will take time to believe what has happened but long term it is for the best.

Nope definitely done the right thing leaving! What a cold hearted wanker. Also you don't want to be with some one who loves someone else and does sneaky shit!