Is sleeping in separate beds the last taboo?

[abigailsfs]

My husband and I don't sleep in the same bed. It doesn't work. He is an extremely light sleeper and gets up several times in the night and then wakes me up, leaving us both knackered and pretty grumpy the next day, so we decided a while back to sleep separately. TBH, I think he is cool with it, but I sometimes struggle. I know it makes sense. Otherwise, work, etc, is just like trudging through treacle, but I sometimes feel like we are roommates, not husband and wife. When we have outed our 'sleeping separation' to friends, their reaction always surprises me as it is typically one of concern and 'What does this mean'? Which then makes me feel worried that we are outliers and it's a sign of something deeper.
Is this the last taboo, and lots of people are doing it, or do you think it is a slippery slope?

We’ve gone one step further & have separate sides of the house with our own bedrooms, bathrooms & office space (we moved to a cheaper area 5 years ago so we could have this set-up). It’s not conventional & friends & family always raise eyebrows but it works for us. We have completely different sleep patterns & spent the first 10 years of our relationship being tired & cross with each other because one of us had kept the other one awake. We both really need our own space & time alone so having our own rooms allows this. We still have sex, still function as a couple, but at the end of the day we can retreat to our own spaces & recharge.

We are in separate bedrooms and I love it. DH is ok with it. He has sleep apnea which he is finding difficult to regulate having tried various devices. He is also a very light sleeper, waking regularly and moving about.

Im so uncomfortable at the moment due to hot flushes and night sweats.

We are both better off in separate rooms though I think DH would like to be back to the same room iif the sleep apnea is under control. I love the little nighttime routine that I have when sleeping alone. We’ll have to see how it goes.

I'd love to have separate bedrooms. DH is a night owl and a heavy snorer. I'm a light sleeper.

I've concluded for this that as long as I can push two single beds together I'm fine sleeping on one half of them I just need to not be trying not to fall out that side/have a bit of room for an arm to go over onto the other twin bed.

Sometimes involves some furniture removal but greatly improved my "stuck in a single bed" Airbnb sleeping.

That’s our set up and we love it.

I can have the window open wide and he can have his shut and sleep in a hot box 😃

We slept in the same bed for 35 years and now luckily both enjoy sleeping alone.

Thank you lovely Mumsnet women, you have made me feel so much better by sharing your stories. Turns out this is quite common! 😅

DH snores soooo loud I would have murdered him by now if ye didn't sleep in another room. I don't care what anyone else thinks.

I think a lot more people are speaking openly about it these days. Me and DH sleep apart 50% of the time. We tend to sleep together at weekends or on the days I don't work. When I need a good sleep (such as work the next day), we'll sleep apart.
My friend and her DH are newly married. They're very much in love and there's a lot of chemistry between them. I was surprised that they're moving house simply so she can have her own bedroom! Like many couples, they just sleep better apart.

We are in separate rooms. I bloody love it.

All the angst over giving kids their own rooms and then as adults you have to share a bed. No thanks.

DH and I have recently started sleeping separately. I suggested it, because I just couldn't handle the loud snoring and mad fidgeting every night...even with earplugs in, it was keeping me awake.

I also like reading or scrolling on my phone for a bit in bed before I go to sleep, which he hates, as he just comes to bed and instantly wants the light out.

He was horrified and a bit disgruntled about it, but I insisted.

In the mornings, I come in for a cuppa and a cuddle so we are still showing affection. We have been married for 30 years and don't sleep wrapped around each other anymore so to me it makes no difference.

Thanks to Mumsnet, I know it's more common than people let on in daily life.

We live in a three bed but the smallest room is teeny tiny. It's no longer fair for DD to have it so we are having to move back into the same room with the teeny tiny bedroom set up for emergencies because I don't want a single bed but I'm honestly dreading it. We usually start sleeping together on a Saturday night but I move out at some point during the night. I've no idea how I'm going to cope without my perfect pink sanctuary, my king size bed to star fish in, my tranquility light and my dreamy but chilled playlist.

The only bonus is we will probably have sex every day until that novelty wears off.

It's fine just don't wear the carpet out on the landing :)

I have been with my dh for 8 years and we used to sleep in the same bed for the first 6 years now we sleep in different rooms because I am a terrible light sleeper now never used to be and suffer insomnia to and he snores so loud and also gets up in the night sometimes so would wake me often it got to the point we was grumpy with each other so made the decision to sleep separately we still have a good sex life and spend plenty of time together only time we do share a bed now is if on holiday which can be a pain with his snoring but I kind of accept it for a few days haha

We've slept separately for years. We both love it.
If we do have to share (. Guests or holidays) I don't sleep.

DH and I sleep in separate beds as we both snore, but one of us will go in thr others bed first thing for cuddles and more, he's an, ahem, 'early riser' shall we say.