Finances

[Lm404061]

I have been dating a man in his mid thirties. I am dating for long term and for marriage.
There are two things that concern me but I’m not sure whether they should and looking for another’s outside opinion please.
He is very into bitcoin, he has bought a studio flat but puts all his other money into bitcoin. He is convinced it’s going to make him rich one day. He is not short of cash though so he is still living a good lifestyle. Secondly, he moved to the US for work a few years ago. Whilst he was there he racked up a lot of credit card debt. He has intentionally never paid it back. According to him it’s not worth their time and effort to peruse him for it. The credit card company does apparently not have his UK address so he thinks it will be written off.
I know these credit card companies are not the most moral and can afford to write off a few thousand. However it doesn’t particularly show him in a good light.
It’s making me question whether I can trust him and whether he is someone it would be sensible to tie myself to financially long term (marriage). Maybe I’m blowing it out of proportion. He has a well paying job and seems to have plenty to live on otherwise. Any thoughts?

hills are that way >>>>run!!

The bitcoin wouldn’t bother me (my DP does the same although he also does some regular investment), but running from debt would be a no, morally and financially. I wouldn’t want to be linked to that.

Head for the exit door!

I’d throw this one back. The bitcoin thing, I don’t know enough about but it’s always seemed a bit like gambling to me. But the US credit card fraud is a massive red flag. This man has no integrity and I couldn’t be with someone who thinks it’s ok to steal money like this

On a more serious note, always look at the way a man treats others, because that is how he will treat you over time. He has shown himself to be dishonest and dishonourable, as well as being extremely foolish with money.

Good job you are asking - leave now before you get embroiled in anything with him.

I think you are thinking about this sensibly. He clearly doesn't make the smartest investments. You can discuss things with him or leave of you decide you don't want to take that on.

Run for the hills.

A financially irresponsible bozo will leave you high and dry.

Oh no! Please don't pursue this relationship.
My ex-husband also racked up credit card debt and abandoned it when we moved back to his home country. As an earlier poster said, this is relevant because it indicates how someone treats others and how they view their responsibilities.

My ex-husband proved this to be true. Completely amoral, no ethics and financially exploitative - not just to big banks but friends, relatives, ex-wife (me).

All your partner's assets are opaque, the Bitcoin. The studio apartment isn't necessarily a bad thing but it all seems really worrying and flighty. You don't want to set yourself up in a partnership with that. It can end up costing you dearly.

Thanks for your replies. I suppose if he had ran up the debt, left it and felt bad about it, that would have been something. But I agree the real kicker here is the lack of remorse and almost feeling entitled to do it, like he is untouchable.

Just this! My DH's work colleague lost 60K investing in crypto-currency. The man you're dating is reckless with money. Never a good sign. What else is he reckless with? Unless everything you touch turns to gold, I would get the hell out.