AIBU to object

[Lucy Long Socks]

So basically my partner is in a band. Tonight I'm scrolling through their Instagram and I see in the comments section purely by accident that they have several up and coming tours abroad pretty much planned, and by the look of other comments the band have left, this is now going to be an ongoing thing. My partner hasn't told me. I'm really pissed off. It will be good if they are making enough money and my partner will enjoy it. But I know he will struggle with the job he has in a warehouse, for time off. But what's annoying me is he's not mentioned it. Its just done. Arranged. I don't know how long he's going for or anything. I'm also feeling a little jealous that he's doing this fun thing he loves and I'm stuck working in a shitty little garage office I hate. We've been together 14 years and never been apart.
I feel like I'm being selfish. Is it ok to feel upset.

It’s odd that he wouldn’t have mentioned it to you if he is planning on being abroad yes, do you not speak about these things usually?

It’s okay to be upset that you will miss him, and definitely speak to him about it all being a secret, but if it is a good opportunity then try to be happy for him

Christ I thought you were going to say you had been dating for five months or something!

Fourteen years!? Do you live together?

Well I guess that’s shown you where you are on his list of priorities. 💐

Well that's just it. I thought we would speak about it. I didn't know until tonight. He's known for a couple of weeks at least. I will try to be happy for him. I can't think about that right now though.

Yes we do live together. Low on his priorities is how i feel. Im shocked

Hold your fire until you've spoken to him. Unless he's the front man it's possible he's not going. He may have turned it down.

Do you think he's worried about telling you? Maybe he feels bad. Still he should be an adult and talk to you before anything is booked.

He could be worried. But he must realise he will have to tell me at some point. I really don't want him to go. I will miss him so much.

I'm not surprised you are upset if he has made plans to go on these tours and not mentioned it.

Do you have children together?

I think you should be starting a conversation about seeing the talk on Instagram. Not in an accusatory way - give him the benefit of the doubt about why he hasnt mentioned it until you hear what he has to say.

A 17 year old.

I don't know if i can right now. I'm too upset. He's on his way home now. He will know I've been crying. I think I'm going to bed and pretend to be asleep. I can't do this now as we will have an argument, because I'm stressed.

Yes you are quite right to leave it until you're feeling a bit calmer OP.