Hi,
I need advice and would like to know if I’m crazy or not. I’m muslim. I met a guy on a dating app. He seemed nice and we hit it off. During our conversation, the topic of marriage came up. I asked him what he wanted on the app and he said he wasn’t sure and that he’s looking for a girlfriend. He wants to see how things go. I felt a bit uncomfortable and unsure because of this response. In Islam, we can’t have boyfriends/girlfriends. We’re supposed to court and have a chaperone with us when we go on dates. I explained to him that I want a guy that knows what he wants and that I’m looking to get married. I know when you meet someone, you’re not going to marry them right away but the whole point of dating (at least for me) is to eventually get married. He said he liked me wanted to see how things go and if it works out he’ll get married. I said ok but wasn’t sure about how I felt. As time went on, we started talking about meeting up. I asked him if he wanted to meet up and when he wanted to meet up and he told me he wasn’t sure. He asked me what I wanted to do and I told him I wanted to do a picnic at the park or maybe go for a festival. I asked him again when he wanted to hangout cause I felt he hadn’t given me a clear answer since he said he wasn’t sure to both questions. He later told me he was free on the weekend and that we could hangout. I told my sister about us planning to meet cause she was going to be the chaperone on our date. She asked what we were going to do. And I told her I wasn’t sure cause I hadn’t figured out what to do. She asked me if I asked him for ideas and I told her he said he wasn’t sure of what he wanted to do. My sister told me she wasn’t sure of him and told me he’s uploaded to be showing interest on wanting to hangout and planning the date. She told me that if a man likes you, he’d put in effort into finding out what I want and trying to plan a date based on what I want. I started to feel bad and uncomfortable cause I was already having doubts about him saying he didn’t know when he wanted to hangout and what he wanted to do. Plus also not being sure about him wanting to get married. So I decided to ask him. I asked him in the future, if we were to get married (cause in Islam, we can’t have boyfriends/girlfriends) what would he do to show his wife, he loves her. Would he plan dates? Surprise her, do something spontaneous to show he loves her. I just wanted to know how if he’s put in effort to be romantic and surprise me since he seemed nonchalant about hanging out. Hi bio said he was romantic so I was curious to know. So I asked him, since he says he’s romantic, I just want to know what romantic stuff he’s done in the past. He told me that in the past, he did stuff for his exes and they all used him. And that he’ll get married when he finds the right one. But that wasn’t what I was asking. I tried to explain what I meant but he didn’t seem to get what I was saying. He seemed a bit upset (not sure if I read meaning into it but he seemed off) After that discussion, things weren’t the same. He started taking sooo long to reply my messages (he used to reply my messages quickly). All of a sudden he just stopped replying my text. I just want to know if I did anything wrong or if I was wrong for asking him. Did I pressure him? Did he think I was pressuring him for marriage? I honestly wasn’t thinking that. I’m so confused. Any advice would be great cause I really liked him. He seemed sweet