How long to give it?

[Whatalife88]

Hey everyone, advice if you may,

I said something a couple days ago that offended my partner. I apologised quite quickly (within an hour) and said I would leave him be. We don't live together, we are long distance and have been together a year. I haven't heard from him since. I know I upset him hence my apology but not communicating at all is making me think he is bad at communicating which I don't like. Be a grown up and discuss surely? Does he just not care that much? We have said we love each other and see a future together.
I didn't name call or swear. I just said something he was offended by about our relationship. I don't plan to contact him as I said I would leave him to it and I dont want to put pressure on him but am I being a mug? Wwyd? Tia

I've been dating someone like this for two years. Total inability to resolve conflict and just shuts me out, never apologised for anything and we took are long distance. The me having to always sort out every argument was just so draining and on the end I thought of him as very childish and it turned me off him big time so I ended thinsg. I knew he would never change after 2 years it never improved. Very exhausting.Leave him to it I say.

OP, is he quite young/immature do you think? He sounds as though he cannot take criticism, at all. If this is his MO, to strop and then gives you the silent treatment, it’s a pointer to emotional immaturity. If he’s a fully formed and mature (in years) adult, I’d probably walk away.

Be careful.

He's in his fifties!

I agree. For people who communicate in this way, there’s a need to control the outcome, at all costs. There is never an apology. Genuinely, he will be feeling betrayed that you’ve questioned his action and rather than discuss, he strops and walks.

Again I warn you, OP. Be careful.

Why did you apologise for calling out his bad behaviour?

Now he's sulking. Thinks he's in the right because you apologised?

He sounds difficult, moody and from what you describe, embarrassing.

Are you sure you want to carry on?

You shouldn't have to even apologise for stating you have concerns.

if he doesn't like what you said and has gone off in a sulk, that tells you a lot about how he manages conflict. You've probably given him the excuse he was looking for to part company, so I'd leave him to it,

OP, I think what you pointed out was prescient.
I think you rightly pointed out your concerns about his twatty immature behaviour.
He has chosen to show you more of it.

You have swapped one abuser for another man that isn't much better.

Do not contact him.
If you have an ounce of sense, you will take it that the relationship is over.

Better you move on now rather than invest any more of your time in this.

Well done for listening to your gut.
He sounds like an awful twst for 51!

I think you need to give him time. In the future though his inability to take advice and learn how to manage conflict better is worrying.
A significant sign that you're not compatible.

Couple must explain like adults but not kids, everyone can shout loudly, calm is what we need. BTW, I think two of u should say something out, don't let these terrible things destroy you.

In his 50s?!

Well this one's a dud I'm afraid. You don't have to sit and wait for him to decide what's going to happen, drop him a note to definitively dump him. What a head fuck.

You have raised your concerns and he has shut you down by saying 'he's not having it' and then giving you the silent treatment.

It's hard to hear negative things about yourself but if he can't reflect, discuss and consider the impact on you then it is going to be a difficult going forwards.