Myself & my dh are friends with another couple , dh has known the husband for years & years & are more like brothers…he’s lovely & tbh I think of him as dh brother.
We can have lovely nights out with them , holidays together, have loadsa laughs etc etc but a lot of the time She’s very self centred and child like in a lot of ways. And extremely sly.
We can usually put all that aside and me & dh just laugh about her behaviour to each other …apparently a lot of people we know do this & we’ve also found out there’s a lot of people in our group of friends who can’t stand her but because we all think so much of her husband she gets away with things. She is god awful about her husband sometimes which is so uncomfortable to listen to ….last time she properly slagged him off I said it was really hard for me to listen to & since then I’ve noticed she doesn’t say so much.
Also ,there are some people who fall for her victim act …it’s really hard to sit by and not say anything when they say how sorry they feel for her when I know the truth.
Im a very non confrontational person & if I try to stand up for myself I get tongue tied , back down & let people get away with stuff. I think ‘friend’ thinks that I’m a pushover & that I believe everything she tells me ….i don’t though , I just don’t want to rock the boat.
Apparently on my hen night she was slagging off my husband to be to a friend & also she tried to moan about him to me but I ignored her ….She quite often makes comments about my dh , she told a lie about him & when I caught her out on it she had a very convenient phone call so she didn’t have to admit she was wrong.
On our wedding day I complimented her on how she looked but didn’t get a compliment back ! I think in the 5 years I’ve known her I’ve only had 2 compliments from her whereas I love to compliment people about their clothes, their haircut etc. I’m a bit of a people pleaser I think.
Anyway , me & her decided to arrange a girls night out …added people we liked to our group chat …she then added more & more who I didn’t know. We arranged a day it could be on but we didn’t finalise any details. I then bump into her dh one day & he says she had been on a girls night out the night b4 on the date we had chosen …to the place we’d chosen …but hadn’t told me …it was done v sneakily as I’d seen her the day b4 & she hadn’t mentioned anything ….the people she went with are the ones who fall for her victim act. I haven’t seen her since then …i feel quite hurt , not because they went without me but because of how sneaky it was.
I also hate myself for letting her get away with so much ….how do I learn to pull her down a peg or Two without actually falling out with her?