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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I need advice from a woman

2 replies

mradamsnaith89 · 29/08/2024 10:07

Around two months ago, I met a woman online via a dating app and we hit it off immediately, it was as if I was speaking to the female version of myself.

She was honest from the start and told me that she is medically diagnosed ADHD and Autistic, but to me she was just so unique in a good way. Since this, I have spent many hours learning about ADHD by listening to podcasts and reading books.

The first few weeks was amazing, and very intense. Constant messaging, staying together all of the time, cute names that she would call me etc.

Out of nowhere, it went from 100 to 0 but she was very honest and she told me that she had put off self-care, and she had lost her routine after putting all of her energy into me. She suggested that we take a step back and be friends whilst we figure ourselves out. It was very hard to not take this personally, especially when you really like someone.

Since then, we have still seen each other. We still message, and we have still been intimate, and she will hold my hand in the car etc (of course it isn't the same as it once was).

I really do not want to lose her. She means an awful lot to me in such a short amount of time. I do care deeply for her.

She has said that she needs some space for now (she will still instigate messaging me etc). Her moods are very up and down, and she will often send me videos about ‘partners’ on the receiving end of ADHD.

How do I make this work in the long run? How would a woman want me to approach this? What does space actually mean?

I feel like I am in love with her, but I am afraid to tell her because of the pressure.

OP posts:
NellietheNumpty · 29/08/2024 10:13

This all sounds very intense. In the long term a relationship needs to find a jogging along pace. Each partner needs to have their own strategies for ordinary life and the part together is the 3rd strand.
Let your partner find their own pace you find yours. Don’t throw them off course and if that doesn’t work for you then look again.

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