Should I be worried?

[GreenIvys]

My partner and me have always had a good sex life, it was never something that changed even if we argued or fell out it remained the same. But a few months ago he started a new job which is ridiculously long hours and our sex life has vanished, he claims he’s too tired every night when he comes home and that’s why. But I’ve explained it’s effecting me, I need that good sex life and it’s not a relationship without that.. otherwise I’m just basically sharing a house with him as I barely see him anyway with his work hours.
but it’s becoming a constant conversation and nothings changing! It’s really concerning how does he all of a sudden not want sex? Or even have the urge weither he’s tired or not? Bare in mind we’re in our 20s, we’ve never had this issue before and now I just feel confused?

The obvious thought is that he’s getting it elsewhere, but then you’ve got to think if this is what you want for the rest of your life.

A new job that has ridiculously long hours (and the associated stress that probably goes with it!) is definitely a reason someone's sex drive might change. It doesn't always need to be anything more sinister - is there anything else concerning you?

I did google it and it does say that it can affect the sex drive so I have tried to think that’s what it is but he’s also been trying change the way he looks, asking about getting his teeth done, going to the gym and becoming bigger which has never ever been a thing for him? It just all makes no sense..

These are all red flags for cheating. Check his phone. If he’s cheating, leave.

Yes you should be worried. Sounds like he has met someone at work.

It doesn't mean he's seeing anyone else, long hours jobs are really punishing physically and emotionally do destroy libido.

I would definitely get him to book a holiday and see how things are after a couple of days of rest.

Is the job important to him? I totally get that a high sex drive is important to you, but if you ask him to give up his career that's a big ask...

Just saw your update OP. That is concerning and does suggest that he's had his head turned.

Ultimately, if you need sex in a relationship and he's not providing that, then that's a good enough reason to leave. Obviously, there are some exceptions like illness, depression etc. However, in this case, it doesn't seem like that's the cause. He can't be too tired EVERY DAY. I don't buy that. I'd be suspicious of cheating if I were you, or questioning whether he's checked out of the relationship.

Wow, that everyone automatically jumps on the cheating bandwagon.

New job, new people to impress. I've seen really atruggling people, who really don't have a penny to spend, forced into buying BMWs simply to fit in at work.

Fitness, teeth whitening, being busy and tired... all these could be attributed to a stressful working environment.

What are the men in his new job like? Are they particularly well groomed, muscular guys?
He's started a new job, it's not unusual to have that experience especially with long hours. Give him time to get used to it.

Jumping straight to cheating is a bit much too, he might be feeling inadequate in comparison to other men who he thinks are more successful and look better than he does, is the new job a promotion?

He's been there long enough to be due some time off, discuss that. Reluctance to spend time with you and on your relationship when not working would be the biggest sign something else is going on.

To be honest the guys he works are all scruffy, typical smoke weed and sleep around kind of guys their mouths are vile when I’ve heard them on the phone. This job is a complete new job not a promotion, he seems to put them all on a pedastool though I can see that.
He is allowed the time off, he just chooses not too and says he’d rather have the money. I’ve begged him to have a weekend off but he won’t, it’s always yeah but we need the money or I cant let them down.
He puts them before me in every aspect, if I say I’m not happy with something he will still do it anyway because it’s work.

Could it be that the new job with longer hours also means higher income which means he can now afford these things that perhaps he couldn’t afford before?

of course trust your gut, but I would also be cautious of immediately assuming cheating is the reason.

What kind of job has that social expectation? Grim!