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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I ask if I have another half sibling?

2 replies

User747847373737322 · 28/08/2024 10:47

Hi all, will try and keep this short and simple.

never knew bio dad growing up. He lived locally, was never hard to find. Just never knew him. He had other kids after me with his wife and also 2 with an ex wife before I was born that he did see growing up. They all live locally. This was never a secret. It was just me that he didn’t see.. or was it?

i am in my thirties. Met him for the first time earlier in the year. Have met up 3 times. He seems like a nice chap. I do believe my mum made it difficult for him to see me but he said he respected my mum as she was protecting me as he was young & stupid and hurt her.

anyway, growing up my mum always told me bio dad told her years ago before I was born that he had another child as a teenager in another part of the country he didn’t have a relationship with. My mum was always pretty certain this is what he said. For years she’s mentioned this. I just took it with a pinch of salt but often wandering if there’s a half sibling out there who would be in their 40s now I presume.

buy since I’ve met up with my mum has denied she’s said this and said I think I got muddled with your brothers dad! But for years she said it was my bio dad and since I’ve met him she’s saying maybe not. Which has confused me. She’s not the easiest person to talk to.

my brother never knew his dad until he was a teenager when they first met, so I’d think that if it was really my brothers dad it would have come up by now as they’ve had contact for over 10 years. It just seems unlikely! Her story was the same for years until this year. Or did she make it up out of spite for my bio dad and now going back on herself? I don’t want to fall out about it with her so I left it to keep the peace.

do I ask bio dad? I mean I don’t like to intrude and be nosy. It’s also his personal life but I’m not getting answers from my mother. Should I know if there’s another sibling out there?

any advice? Do I just leave it be?

OP posts:
zazazoop · 28/08/2024 22:20

Ancestry dna test might have your answers. You could always ask your dad though, especially if it plays on your mind

StolenChanel · 28/08/2024 22:23

I would ask your dad, but if you don’t want to come straight out with it you could do it as a “family tree” exercise? Explain that you would love to know more about his side of the family and sit and work a family tree together.

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