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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband drinking

3 replies

Drawerfull · 28/08/2024 09:33

Hello,
im thinking about leaving my husband. I have a little baby he’s three months old. I’ve been with my husband for five years. I really do love him and don’t want to leave but his drinking is really affecting me. He went out this Friday and stayed in bed all the next day on his phone didn’t get up once to help with baby. Three weeks ago I went to visit my parents and he ended up drinking at our house Thursday evening and Friday during the day. He didn’t go to work on Friday and he didn’t come and visit us at my parents until Sunday when he was supposed to be there on Friday. He was so depressed after drinking that he didn’t go to work all that week and barely talked to me. He definitely suffers from depression and grew up with an alcoholic father but I don’t think I can do it anymore. I asked him last night to give up drinking and he blames me and makes me feel like I’m crazy and blowing things out of proportion. In the past he’s wrecked my car from driving it into the ditch. He’s been arrested for drink driving on a different occasion and has a court case coming. He takes cocaine which I am compleltly against.

OP posts:
Fleetheart · 28/08/2024 09:37

Yes, I think at this point you need to put yourself and your child first. He’s in a difficult place but you can’t help - only he can. And so at the moment I think the best you can do is leave and stay with parents. I say this as someone whose ex partner drank and took drugs and was depressed. I tried to help and support for far too long. You really can’t help him with this spiral. If a new baby isn’t enough then what is?? Please put you and baby first. He has to take responsibility for himself

BrigadierEtienneGerard · 28/08/2024 10:43

Get out now.
There is nothing you can do or say that will change him.

Theleaveswillbefalling · 28/08/2024 10:48

I’m generally of the opinion that you shouldn’t split but within the first year of a baby’s life just because everyone’s life is up in the air but this is one of those exceptions.

Just like your DH who grow up with an alcoholic Dad your son is more likely to become an alcoholic if you continue to live with your partner.

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