Sorry, new account as I don’t want to be traceable! Me and my husband are in our mid forties and have 2 children aged 6 and 12. We’ve been together for 20 years. Since our youngest was born we haven’t been the same at all, she was unplanned (I was told I couldn’t have anymore children) and I and a difficult pregnancy followed by 6 months of colic. It was hell! During that time my husband and I came to blows, I had post natal anxiety and my baby didn’t sleep for more than an hour during the night. I was an absolute mess! He used to say he’d help out whilst I slept but would then ‘look after’ the baby, but put ear plugs in which caused me to resent him so bad! This is when it all went wrong! Fast forward to lockdown and I found out that he was on Reddit looking at porn. He admitted that he would ‘upvote’ these women, but swore he’d never contacted any of them. When I pushed him he said he was addicted to porn and would address this. I have no idea if this is true. I can take a bit of porn, but the fact that he’s addicted to looking at other women’s tits etc makes me feel sick. We now don’t really get on, we used to have such a good time together but that has stopped. He still wants sex but I don’t find him attractive at all, he’s started to have premature ejaculation and there’s literally nothing in it for me. I feel that he’s conditioned himself to cum as quickly as possible due to his porn addiction. He makes no effort and feel he just uses me. I love him but as a friend, we’re definitely together for the kids. Do I spend the rest of my life like this? He earns wayyy more than I do as I’m on minimum wage and only work part time. More importantly, I don’t want to blow up my kids life!