Will he come back...grief

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My new partner of 3 months has just finished with me because his dad is dying and he says he can't be in a relationship at the moment.

Whilst our relationship was short we had built a good connection and bond. He was everything I've been looking for in a partner.

I know grief is so deliberating and his Dad is close to dying of cancer.

Do you think there is a chance for us in the future once the grief subsides?

Remember that men are often socialised to not show any emotions other than joy, anger or contentment. You've only been seeing him a few months so the relationship is still in the honeymoon phase. He doesn't know you well enough to know how you'd react if he fell apart. Some people (both men and women) react really badly to men showing what they perceive as weakness. It might be that he thinks it's safer to withdraw in a controlled way rather than for him to find himself dealing with grief plus rejection.

@H112 how so?

I don’t think he’ll come back. Different people handle tough times in different ways. Early dating should be fun. Clearly his head is in a different place. 3 months in is long enough to get attached. But maybe he is a avoidant type so wants to handle it his way. I think you need to concentrate on you and do your best to keep busy and move on.

An empath is described as someone who empathises with others, but in an extreme and excessive way, often at cost to themselves. For example, an empath will absorb everyone else's difficulties, leaving no space or capacity for their own emotional wellbeing.

If you are someone who has and shows empathy towards people, you can see things from their perspective but not to your own detriment, so that's a positive thing.

I know it’s hard op, but I think he has behaved rather decently tbh.

He didn’t feel he had the headspace for a relationship while he is spending these precious last few months with his dad, so instead of keeping you hanging and uncertain, he has ended it.

I think you need to take him at his word though, Don’t keep hoping for his return.

Nor should you be rushing to “console” him in the event he does come back.

You also get to decide and consider what you want out of a relationship and when you choose to put your heart and soul in to
sonething.

So although it’s hard, I would start putting a lot of energy in to your work, friendships and hobbies, and yes, start dating again.

If he does come back he will have to really fight for you as you will have plenty of other offers!

Right now you are disappointed and feel a little hurt but love is not enough op. Timing, logistics, circumstances all play their part too. Maybe this one just wasn’t meant to be.

Please do not wait around for him. He will be grieving for a good while and you deserve someone who can commit to you now, not in a year or so. Please protect yourself emotionally.

Take care 💐

I would move on.

He's not there for you.

If he wanted you around in his hour of need, he would reach out.

Sorry,

@daisychain01 ah yes that makes sense. I'm empathetic then! I work in NHS frontline so I'm a naturally caring person who wants to help others.

@Butwhataboutthelastcopy thank you. Yes I feel like he's behaved decently. It almost makes it harder as I know he's a great guy.

Agree with this…