Think my marriage is over

[Alwayslonging]

I’m feeling very sad and scared right now, hope this isn’t too jumbled as I write this down. Not had the best relationship for a while, probably longer than we should have put up with. We had a big fight 2 weeks ago and he said he was done and was leaving as soon as possible.
The day after he made me my tea (which in the past has been his way of carrying on as normal, the plaster to the wounds) but I was still very upset and reclused to the bedroom to be alone for a bit. Since then it has been completely silent, no communication at all.
He works nights and I’d reached my limit on silence last night and messaged him, saying it needed to end (the silence) and to come for a cuddle when he got in from work (we have separate bedrooms due to his snoring) his reply was he meant what he said and was done. This has really made me sad, I keep wanting to just go up to him and get into bed but I’m so scared he’ll just reject me again.
I do feel part of our issues are my fears of rejection and not feeling able to put myself in that vulnerable position.
I don’t quite know what I’m asking for here, maybe the courage to just go and climb into bed for a cuddle, or the harsh reality that I need to face up to it being over.

I'm sorry you're going through this but please do not go into his bed for a cuddle. He's told you it's over then confirmed it when you brought it up again. You need to respect his boundaries.

In the same respect, if he is done he needs to start making moves to separate, not just give you silent treatment. He said he was leaving ASAP. What is he doing to actually leave? Is it your house? Is that a why he said he would leave? He can't have it both ways, telling you he's done and he's leaving but then living in your house and making you feel awkward in your own home.

Sorry op but I think you need to start to come to terms with the fact that it’s over.
He also needs to act on his words and move out. It’s not acceptable to give you the silent treatment after telling you it’s over and he’s moving out asap without also letting you know when that’s going to be.
Sorry, it sounds like it’s been a long time coming but it must still be hard now that it’s arrived. Hope you have a circle around you for support 💐

@Alwayslonging

I'm sorry 🥲

you say it hasn't been good for a long time, and you shouldn't have let it be that way.

Do you genuinely still think there's a marriage to be 'saved' or do you think you're just scared of being alone/not wanting to separate

you need to decide this first, it's either time for you (both) to sort out what's making your marriage unhappy and see if he's really done or would want to try. OR to separate, it's time to stop putting band aids on it, or you'll be here again very soon.

i understand your desire to just get into bed with him, it's so tempting to just try to snuggle up & apply band aids. But it's time to
pull up your Big Girl pants & face the reality.

sorry x

It’s both our house, we both pay towards it. There are no little ones anymore. As far as I know he’s not done anything to move but he said he was going his mums or sisters so for all I know he could be waiting for them to make space for him. He has literally changed nothing at home other than completely ignoring me.
I totally understand what you are saying about his boundaries, I think I feel a pull to do that as in the past me approaching him with affection has always helped and broke down some barriers.

Big girl pants time OP - you need to speak/text fo say you accept it's over and you need to discuss how to move on separately and the practicalities of separation.