Tinder 🙈

[BeRoseScroller]

Not so much relationship s but tinder dating! So I'm a single mum of 4 (im42 he's 40)/ and started chatting to this chap online. From the start he wanted to meet and lets just say have some fun but then meet back up (he said that way you'll want to come and see me again in 2 weeks). Said he was a decent guy etc. Planned to meet but my car broke down and then the second time round the kids dad decided to work instead of having the children So We couldn't meet then either. So we've been being naughty sending videos and pics in between but he accused me of not taking clear pics and videos on purpose. Got funny when I couldn't send pics straight away out yawning on messages etc, even though I work full time and my kids come first. Said it was frustrating etc but kept saying wish you were here calling me cute baby etx. We've been chatting every day for 3 weeks and then suddenly silence. Won't text or reply to my texts but reads them. I was going up to see him a week this Thursday but I'm so confused.

Alarm bells should have started ringing also when I was texting him when ill and he was like do you want me to send you a naughty video to.cheer you up rather than oh no hope you're ok 🙈

Ewwww this man is gross OP. Don't be downhearted, be happy the trash took itself out.

Thanks for all your replies ladies, appreciated. Everyone is saying exactly the same and Im guessing that he just got bored and is now onto someone else hence the ghosting. Obviously someone who just likes the chase of the thrill says all the right things then gets bored.

loriXc yep I’ve learnt that one. Explains why he got all funny with me when I couldn’t send him anything straight away and then had a go at me about not sending him photos and vids that weren’t clear when he had 😡

Was he looking for something casual or just to date and see what happens? I always ask this question at the start- what are you looking for? This helps me set expectations and how I communicate with the guy. It seems that your expectations were a bit mismatched, since all the things he has told you indicate towards something casual. He can still be a nice guy but not wanting anything serious.
I personally make it clear that I'm not into sending pics and videos, especially when I haven't met in person. And if a guy is persistent, I tell him that it is starting to irritate me. If you didn't want to, you should have firmly said no.
Anyway, chalk it up to experience. Online dating is not easy unfortunately. But be positive and keep trying.

this is the thing. Said he had given up finding anything on tinder as too many females just wanted one thing but weren’t honest about it, had short term fun on his profile, said it would be a decision for me to make if I wanted him in any other way than just sex, but kept saying throughout Im just here to you know what and shame as I needed a you know what when I said I couldn’t send him anything. Think he just got bored

He probably has a gallery full on his phone of pics that women have sent him online, they treat it like a hobby op.

I have to agree with others. In the space of 3 weeks you plan to meet/ sending explicit things and he ghosts you. I sense a bad vibe and I would be very cautious if I was you. With my DH now, when we first started talking online, we spoke for 4-5 months before I met him and we lived in the same city. You just hear so many stories nowadays, so be careful OP

Some men treat tinder like a free prostitution service.
They send a few texts, a bit of flirting, maybe throw in some future faking in exchange for sex on demand.
It's a bargain for them.

If that's not what you're looking for then you have to not entertain these type of men.
To be fair, this one seems very clear with his intentions, and he hasn't wasted too much of your time at least.

Online dating isn't what the TV adverts proclaim it is, it's basically sifting for gold in amongst a pile of shit. You can be lucky and strike gold, but the chances are you will just get crapped on.

You were not his first rodeo. He knows what to say in order to hook himself some free sex and when it was not forthcoming he moved onto the next woman he could use his lines on.

Yep it all makes sense now, or most of it. Does 🙈. It just annoys me how its all I can’t stop thinking about you wish you were here calls you baby and then the minute you ask about something that isn’t sex he stops replying.

This is what 99% of men on tinder are like, also if you’re happy to send stuff like that fine - but you really can’t expect them to then meet up because they’re only really on there for one thing anyway. If you’re genuinely wanted to date, you have to filter out the dickheads, and be ruthless about it.

Op I think this is one to throw back. No way in hell would I be sending a man I don't really know clear or recognisable videos of myself and the fact he seems to think he's entitled to that just shows he's a creep. He's talked nice in order to get what he wanted. I'd put it down to lesson learnt and make them work a little harder for it next time round. If you want a no strings bit of fun then go for it but make sure you're protecting yourself.

To be honest, I'd probably give up on someone who'd cancelled on two first dates. Don't send naughty pictures or videos to anyone you don't 100% know and trust, nevermind a complete stranger that you've met online.

Stop texting him. He doesn't have to know how desperate you feel.

It was never a “date” it was a this is my fantasy I want to do to you from him

My understanding of the modern definition of 'dating' is it includes meeting someone through OLD for a hookup. Regardless, you cancelled on meeting him twice. If someone posted on here that a man they'd never met had cancelled on them twice, the advice would be that he's a time waster.

I understand that but it was through no fault of my own, Im a single mum who lives a couple of hours away from him and things happen

He just wants to meet for a shag then you won't see him again. You kept him waiting too long and he gave up and he found someone more gullible and easier to access quickly. When that relationship turns sour and he has a drink he'll be back all over you. Please don't give him that satisfaction. Block and run.

Men like this literally follow there own script repeating the same things to every women they message. Nothings he's ever said to you is because of you he's just following the process of getting to have sex with you along with the rest he's messaging. It's like water following the easiest path. No doubt he'll be back in touch in a few days, it's low investment for him in time and effort for sex. They bombarded you with messages and make you feel like you know them and trust them so by the time you actually meet up it's a done deal for sex so they don't actually have to put any actual effort in. Loads of women would never think of having a one night stand with someone theve just met, but a few weeks of bombarding of messages and telling what they want to hear sex is on the cards the first time they meet.