How can the wife come back from these words

[DawnToEarth]

Husband to wife: "The marriage is over, I'm done. I don't love you anymore"

Why would she want to?

Does he want her to come back?

You can't.

Unless he had a head injury or was rehearsing a play.

She doesn't, why would she want to? If my husband said that to me I'd take him at his word and start the divorce proceedings if he hadn't already. Some bells can't be unrung and "the marriage is over, I don't love you anymore" is a pretty massive fucking bell.

She needs to believe him. Then crack on with the divorce and moving on.

You don't, why would you?

Husband is ending the marriage. The wife needs to listen and accept it.

Someone writing a novel?

What do you mean “come back from?”

For the past few months *Ben & Jen have been constantly fighting. Jen is my friend and we have been chatting a lot. Once while on a call with me they were in the middle of an argument - she called him the biggest arsehole she has ever met, he told her to go the hell. You get the gist. What I posted above he said to her 10 days ago, she has been in bits but I haven't been in touch with her much as she said she needed space.

Today I had a bbq, this had been planned for quite a while. On Friday I sent her a message saying hope you're ok, it would be lovely to see but no pressure. I said she doesn't even need to reply but I'm thinking of her. Jen arrives with Ben in tow and they were behaving normally, holding hands etc. Our entire friend group knows what Ben said because Jen told everyone in our WhatsApp chat. I asked her how she is and she replied "fabulous" and everything is great. They pretended like the past few months didn't happen. We all a bit shocked so carried on as normal apart from a few side eyes. I'm not going to ask her about it until she does, but I could never forgive something like that. I just don't understand it.

You don't need to understand it.

Was there not enough interest in gossiping about it on the WA group?

Nope I don't get that. Got a friend in a similar position, this has been going on for years. He tells her he doesn't love her and wants a divorce, movs out to his mums for a bit, and just when you think she's finally getting her head around it and, they turn up together like loves young dream. It's fucking exhausting trying to support her through the shit times, and I'm afraid I've stepped well away after the last episode.
She knows he's a fuckwit, he will always be a fuckwit, but her attitude to that is that he's her fuckwit 🙄

I can tell her til I'm blue in the face to ditch him and move on, she knows he's using her, but it's only her can make that decision.

Fucking exhausting I tell you!

Big drip feed......🥱.

Some couples thrive on drama. Leave them to it.

looks like they have made up their differences doesnt it by your reply... lots of couples argue, say things they don't mean and then hey presto before you know it, its all happy families again.

i wouldn't worry, it wont be long before she's back on whatapps or wherever looking for her girlie friends to bad mouth him again and agree with her that hes an arsehole. some couples thrive on it.. i wouldn't get involved

They were the calm and chilled couple, no drama at all until a few months ago. I'm definitely going to leave them to it but will be here if she wants to talk about it. I will not however be dragged again into heated and emotional the calls and chats like before.

lots of couples argue, say things they don't mean and then hey presto before you know it, its all happy families again.

I do get that but it's the I don't love you anymore. I can't understand how anyone can forgive that and move on.

Some people really do have their bars in hell don't they? Nothing you can do about it though, if she thinks that's the best she can do just let her crack on. But honestly I'd be distancing myself from someone who seems to like drama so much. It's exhausting being supportive to someone like that for me because I can't change how I feel about someone that quickly - if someone said something so hurtful to one of my friends I'd dislike them immensely, I couldn't just turn that dislike off when she decided she wants to play happy families again.

did you hear HIM say this? or was this just recounted by HER? .. maybe he's made up for the comment, begged and pleaded with her promising he didn't mean it and he just wanted to hurt her... they sound toxic

Are they both drinkers? Was it said after a bottle or two of wine?

Friends of mine said terrible things to each other at different times. She had (we think) PTSD and talked about leaving him but he stayed with her throughout. A few years later, he said he didn't love her to her but she stayed.

Both said they would have regretted the marriage finishing. Been together now nearly 30 years and no wobbles since.

Some people do have big melodramatic rows yes. My partner and I used to be like that, tho it is something we are both trying to work on. We've said some terrible things to each other in the heat of the moment - things we are both ashamed of now. But all you can do is put it behind you and try to do better going forwards.....

I am surprised you haven't come across more people like this tho. It's not all that uncommon...... Or maybe I just have very melodramatic friends and family - could be a cultural thing.

People say things in the heat of the moment and then realise when the dust has settled that they are idiots and do love each other.
it shouldn’t happen all the time but once or twice isn’t unheard of

When people are upset and angry they can say things they don't mean !