50 year old man. Really complicated personality. He can be so kind and caring. He's got some good skills and had some great jobs. He's just unable to run his home. He cant Pay bills or budget and manage his money. He's reckless with money he's earned thousands and has been on 35-50k over the years and never has anything to show. He's struggled with alcohol abuse which he successfully quit 5 years ago. He's never drank since. But he has a very secretive habit of coke/crack. He has never allowed any of us to see that side of things. When he spends time with us He's functioning. But a quick nosy around his flat you can soon find proof of addcition.
He has broken relationships with his family and has no friends left now. Only friends he has are addicts. There's an extremely High level of mental health in his family. Bipolar and BPD amongst chronic depression. His adult child has bipolar and she's allover the place. They have a relationship and I think through her He's realising he may well be the same. He tends to borrow money of people and never pay back which results in people feeling used and let down.
He lies alot. He tends to bend the truth. He shows allt of narcissistic traits. Very rude and uninterested In people unless he relates or benefits from it. Be tends to put people down and say people are selfish etc. He can't seem to see the wrongs He's done. He has a history of cheating but went massively downhill after his 2 separations. He really struggles to loose people and his world falls apart. He has a history of suicide attempts.
Underneath all this he had nightmares. He gets scared of the dark. He sometimes has delusions and extreme paranoia. He's very attached to me and he turns to me for comfort..but sometimes he will say he will never talk to me again to then message 12 hours later through distress.
I have sat with this man for many hours. I see alot of trauma in his past. He has such a kind side too. Genuinely I believe he feels worthless and is extremely distressed at the way his brain operates. He knows he's not right. He's allover the place and whilst be reads awful in this post he is like a vulnerable child at times. He does care he just does not know how to regulate and stay on track.
I am starting to think all the destructive highs and lows and reckless decisions are because of an underlying issue. Bipolar? What does the above sound like. On the surface he sounds like a narcisstic addict who lies. But I can see there's something going on beyond this.
What are your experiences?