My first time posting and I just wanted to hear what you think about this..
I was married, no children together, he has two from a previous relationship. Our sex drives were an issue very early on, he was mad for it (at least 3 times a day, we once did it 8 times in one day and he could have kept going!!) .. surgical menopause hit me like a ton of bricks and sex was the last thing on my mind.. when I turned him down he would cry and ignore me for the rest of the evening.. he even tried to force me by getting on top of me many times, I had to wrestle him off..
I woke up quite a few times with fluid (yes.. that fluid.. ) on my bum cheeks or between my legs.. which obviously meant he was doing things to me as I slept (I am a very heavy sleeper and even more so since menopause) I am only 46 but it was brought on by surgery..
One day I needed to take a photo of something and asked him for his phone, I quickly discovered he had a video of me on there, whilst I slept he had recorded touching himself (you can imagine what he was doing) over me and touching my intimate parts whilst he did it. After that I didn't feel safe sleeping with him and certainly not turning my back to him, I felt unsafe in my own bed and was disgusted by him. I already had lots of issues with him being dishonest with me over the smallest things.. after that I woke up regularly with him having his phone under the covers between us or of him watching porn on his phone, something he always denied doing.. I am no longer with him,I left the marriage because he was trying to cheat on me (it was complicated and it took me a while to leave him due to other factors). The thing is now, even though I still find a man attractive once in a while this has put me off having a relationship, sharing my bed, my life, my space with someone again because I can't help but see all men as twisted sexual pests or predators.. I don't want to be alone forever, I've been told I am a beautiful woman and regularly get flirted with and have been asked out a few times by others but I have this horrible feeling inside.. I just can't trust a man anymore, I have this image of them all just being sex mad and I can't let any get too close to me.. has anyone been in this same situation caused by their partner? How do I move on and what is what happened to me even called? ...