How many years between your children?

[Justanotherusername27]

Sorry if this is the wrong forum. Basically I have a ten year old and eight month old. I’m going back to work in a few months and stuck with the age old problem of career or family. I know we want another one and DP wants one before he turns 36 (2 and a bit years). I’m deciding whether to go back and work my arse off for this time or just go back, work for a year then go back off on maternity. Then I’ll be done and able to focus on career.

I suppose the question is, what are your age gaps? How difficult was it and how well do they get on

thank you x

4.5 years between my two.

its too big of a gap imo, they’re at completely different stages of life, and it was hard work carrying a baby/toddler around to the elder child outside activities

18 months between 1 and 2
4 years 2 months between 2 and 3
21 months between 3 and 4
8 years between 4 and 5 (unplanned surprise)
I enjoyed the two pairs close in age, they all got on well. My last child is 1 of 5 but also much like an only child as she was always at a very different stage to her siblings. Having a single child after being used to pairs was a doddle tbh.

If you've decided you want a third, I suppose the most important thing to consider is your age. If you're mid-30s or more I'd go for it now; early 30s you've a bit more time.

I had my three close together, within 4 years. It was hard work but got the baby years out of the way quickly. They are grown now and get on very well. I was able to get my career back on track quicker because I did it that way. If it helps, I was 29, 30 and just turned 33 when I had them.

You can’t always plan for the gap you’d like. If you want another I’d advise to go for it.

8 years - he's 26 and she's 18.

They literally couldn't be closer and have just been away for a few days together.

I'm close to both of them but they are in contact several times every day and, whilst they irritate each other at times, they rarely argue and ever fall out.

The longer you leave it, the older you'll be to be dealing with a possibly stroppy teenager.

In your 50s (as I was) you might feel too tired, be more career focussed and less patient.
Or, of course, you might develop more patience or be more laid back as you get older.

They don't always arrive to order, either.

5 years. It’s worked great. It means we had a break on childcare costs between them. If you have only a 2 year gap, how will that impact you financially if you are needing to pay for nursery, for example, for 2?