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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

In need of a virtual hug for handling something so maturely

8 replies

Hisaronu1234 · 23/08/2024 12:22

Ok I have not come here for judgement ( asking a lot on mums net i know ) but I cant really discuss this issue with anyone and I just need a virtual hug.

I recently started hooking up with my ex boss who is a bit older than me, we are both separated and despite not being my type at all and being a bit older but he made me feel really special whilst I wasn't feeling great about myself , at first the arrangement was just sex which we were both mutually happy with, however he felt like such a safe place i slowly started getting feelings for him, he starting going a bit cold on me and we didn't speak for a few weeks and I felt i was getting over it , but he then checked in with me this week and all of those feelings came back, i know deep down he didn't feel the same, and whilst not wanting to get hurt further , just sent him a message telling him how i feel, apologizing for feeling that way when it was not the agreement and asking for my sake he blocks me on everything so I cannot make any contact and I can move on, which he agreed to do and wished me well and was very sweet about it.

Just had a little cry and I know I will get over it, but I also feel really proud of myself as I feel a few years ago I wouldn't have handled this so maturely and I know this has saved me a lot more hurt down the line .

I wont ever speak of this to anyone because I am a bit embarrassed about the situation. But had to vent somewhere.

Can I have a virtual pat on the back?

Thanks for listening/reading.

OP posts:
Refugenewbie · 23/08/2024 12:24

Well done.

He's not as nice as you think he is. But well done.

Echobelly · 23/08/2024 12:25

No judgement at all, you're both adults and separated there was nothing wrong with what you did together but well done for recognising the dynamic wasn't healthy and it needed to end.

You can definitely be proud of yourself I hope you can move past the sadness soon

Kerkyra2024 · 23/08/2024 12:25

Well done on getting the courage to tell him your true feelings. Sending big virtual hugs

CowGirl19 · 23/08/2024 12:47

I personally dont see anything wrong with what you did. You were both consenting adults and single so nothing wrong there. You also can't help that you developed feelings for the guy.
Well done for recognising the casual relationship wasn't enough for you and also huge well done for then acting on that and ending things - rather than hanging around on his every word hoping things would change for him.

You sound great - and I'm sure the right guy is out there for you when you have recovered from this.

Sheeplesss · 23/08/2024 12:50

Well done you.
So adult, mature, an act of self love, value and preservation.
You should be so proud of yourself.
Have your cry and dust yourself down.

Purplecatshopaholic · 23/08/2024 12:51

Well done, you did the right thing. Have a wee mope, maybe a glass of wine, then pick yourself up knowing it was for the best.

Hisaronu1234 · 23/08/2024 13:16

thank you all xxx

OP posts:
PolePrince55 · 23/08/2024 13:29

Good for you!
Well done xx

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