Daughter being abusive like her father was to me

[Wondering101]

Does anyone have any advice please. My 16 year old daughter has witnessed his explosive temper and now understandably she is imitating it. How can I help her find a better way of managing stress? I am divorced from her dad and have been for many years. Sadly he still has contact. How can I support her and get her help. Her home with me is very calm so setting an example alone isn’t working.

Just to add I’ve tried to get her to have counselling but she refused to speak to them

I was going to suggest talking to the school for counselling but I see you tried that.

Firm boundaries, consistency and keeping up the counselling sessions is all I can suggest. Does she want to see him? Does she ever speak about him?

I will try to keep up with all of this thanks. He is trying to convince her to move in with him and love bombiing her. He is also creating a false narrative of me being an awful mother. The children know this isn’t true but painfully I know at times agree with him to keep him happy.I thought the abuse would stop when I left him but he has just found a new way to cause pain. I also thought my daughter would see all of the abuse and not turn against me like this but it seems it’s heading this way. The explosion this morning was I asked her kindly to unload the dishwasher. I have stayed single to give the children a stable home. Never raise my voice and treat them with respect. He is volatile but somehow I’m in this situation