I don't think I like my DDs' godparents anymore at all - anyone else in the same situation?

[CrushWithEyeliner]

GM was an old friend and super nice when I asked her but her interest has dwindled and she has turned into a completely self-absorbed prat. GF was DH work colleague and left acrimoniously. Not much I can do really is there? - i feel so shit that I may have messed up on this for DD.

Don't beat yourself up about it - I chose my brother to be my DD's godparent and he hasn't even bothered to remember her birthday or even pick her up when we were visiting last year. My mum saw him rolling his eyes at his wife when DD was being a bit stroppy..

I too wish I could redo the whole godparent thing, but it is their loss ..

My sister has this problem. One of the godfathers she and her husband chose for their first born has "got religion" in a big way since getting married and having children (GFs children not allowed to read fiction, only the Bible etc).

My sister finds this really scary and has worked hard to distance herself from GF - with a lot of difficulty, I might add, since said GF takes his responsibilities to his godson very seriously....

Don't worry about it, I am honorary GM to a friends son as his parents had same problem with his origial GM, no interest, and my mother is to one of her friends daughters.

LOL at a godparent getting religion

I know the feeling. Ds's GM was at his birth as we were very close. 6 Months later she gave birth herself and we've just drifted apart.

I really thought we'd be doing all the kiddies stuff together especially since I have no family near me (they live on a different continent), but it didn't work out that way. She has a lot of family and seem to have no time for me at all.

I've been very sad about it and couldn't believe that my own instincts in people had let me down so badly.

There's not much you can do, other than put it behind you and get on with it.

We're lucky that the GF's girlfriend has been instrumental in ds's life and she is seen by everyone as his 'unofficial' GM.

Thanks all - I may have to do the same sophiewd, it is such a bloody shame - as it is quite a special ceremony and the fact that they can't even be bothered to take an interest is bloody awful imo

bugger

thanks WA I am in a very similar situation, I am really happy that it worked out for you in the end though x

Yes we're in a similar situation, the GM we chose for dh was a close friend but has drifted away, she didn't even remember his birthday or even send a Christmas card, I feel so sad for him because we thought she would be really special for him. I am thinking about asking another friend to be an honorary godmother - don't see any prob with that - but still have horrible sadness about this one letting my ds down really.

whoops that should obviously say 'the GM we chose for ds' not dh lol

comforting to know it's not just me - and I thought I was a good judge of character

We are also just going through this at the moment with NO2, can't decide who to have, DD has her 2 cousins, my sis and my best friend from college who are all fantastic.

This is why i only chose family members for my DC - i don't even know where my own godparents are ! Think one is in Australia..!

Only problem is we've "used" all the decent family members already adn I'm pg with DC3

My brother was my GF and he was useless. My Aunt was fab as was my GM who lived in Canada

My DS doesn't have any godparents as we never christened him (we're not church goers). I just figured that if friends and family want to be involved in DS's life, they would get involved on their own terms, which they have (and in some cases haven't, IYSWIM).
I don't feel DS is missing out.

dd1's gf is my cousin. He never bothered at all. not sure that he even remembers....we asked my brother in law bless him if he would fill the breach and bless him he does. wish we had had him first. would like to formalise it in some way. wonder if you can add one at a church cerremnony. both my parents are dead and i took some comfort from the fact that both my own godparents 9my uncle and my mum's best friend) were at their funerals.

my mum's best friend reminded me that she is my godmother at my mum's funeral. how lovely of her.

Don't worry CWE, the feeling of sadness lessens with time.

We have had a few near misses though where the honourary GM and the real (absent) one has been at the same party and someone drunkenly refers to the honourary one as the real one within earshot of the other one (if any of that makes sense!).

But hey ho, people make choices in life and have to suffer the consequences.

CrushWithEyeliner - something similar happened to us vis a vis DS1's godfather. DH and I were pretty devastated by it all, tbh, but time, as usual, heals wounds. DS1 sees a fair amount of his godmother (who is no relation to the godfather, iyswim) and doesn't seem to be suffering too badly from it. I did feel very bad about it at the time though, particularly as the DSs have no contact with any of the extended family on DH's side, so it seemed very cruel that he should lose his godfather too .

Thanks again - it is an awful feeling but there really is bugger all I can do about it now x

Just goes to show you can't make people be interested in your kids

we asked a close family friend to be ds1s godmum more for her benefit than for his and she does feel a special bond with him although she doesn't get to see him all that often

we never had godparents and i don't feel we lost out in any way. tbh i wouldn't worry too much, as kids they won't really care who has what title (mum, aunty, godmum etc) and will form bonds with the people who are close to and care about them, they are the important ones anyway