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Relationships

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Help with finance if we divorce

1 reply

butterflyfields · 23/08/2024 10:41

hi, my DH of 5 years (together 10 years) has recently tried to leave me but couldn’t follow through (on the grounds of not being happy in the marriage) anymore. We both work long jobs in the public sector and barely see eachother amongst sharing the load of childcare and I feel this is to blame. We have had a great week since this working on ourselves. With some effort I feel issues can be resolved. It now transpires he’s been having an emotional affair with someone at work. We’re unsure of what the future holds but I’m just looking for some advice re logistics.

We live in a rented house which neither would be able to maintain even with universal credit input. I would with this input and child maintenance, but would leave him with nothing and nowhere to live which isn’t practical in terms of shared custody of our two young children and having nowhere to have the children live/stay with him on his days. There’s no family members to lean on. If it comes to this he is happy to give every penny to me to support us but realistically this isn’t practical long term. I guess I’m just wondering what do people do in this situation - would I be eligible for a council property on a waiting list despite the fact I already have a home and I’m not ‘homeless’. I feel lost.

Again, unsure what the future holds for our relationship. I love him dearly and I’m sad it’s come to this but just want to be realistic if it comes to this - our finances are intrinsically linked and I see no way out, don’t want him to just stay with me because the other options feel impossible right now. How do people do this? Any advice welcome of what I may be able to do. Thank you

OP posts:
mossylog · 23/08/2024 11:06

What I've seen people in these kind of situations do (where finances are awful and they both still get along okay) is break up but continue living together in the short term. Ideally in separate rooms. Give yourself time to disentangle your finances and work out some other arrangement. You're both working full-time, so presumably could both afford to live in smaller places separately.

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