Is there a female version of viagra? Or what can I do...

[MumsDineWith]

To increase my libido.

It's completely dead.

I'm 39 and it's causing issues in my relationship and I want to want to have sex but I just, don't want to.

In my teens, twenties and very early 30s I was very sexual.

Health wise, I've just started thyroid medicine for sunclinical hypothyroidism and I have depression but not currently medicated though I should be but I feel like the antidepressants make it worse because then I can't even come when I do have sex.

Sorry for posting in relationships but I don't like the sex topic I have it hidden.

You need to give the thyroxine time to kick in, it took 12 months for me to feel completely better

How long have you felt like this? Did it coincide with your meds? Or around the time you realised you were depressed?

Are your meds working? May take a while. Can you do anything else to help with depression, things like exercise, supplements, cold water swimming, change of diet can help some people.

I believe testosterone can help but I'm not sure it is prescribed unless you may be lacking or are in peri.

I hope you find a solution.

Medication, contraception, depression, thyroid problems can all cause low libido.

Things that might help: alleviate stress, treat your depression, try a non hormonal contraception, try Chasteberry, masturbate - it might increase your libido.

I feel you OP.

I am in peri and I really struggle these days. I am 40 and used to be very sexual. I find I can get in the mood but it has to be on my terms and there has to be a lot of cuddling and skin to skin. Without this I can happily leave it and prefer a nice head massage!

Drinking plenty of water and being outside helps me. So does keeping a tidy and organised house, otherwise I just cannot get out of my fug and think about sex.

I too used to take antidepressants and stopped due to sexual disfunction and not being able to orgasm.

Partner and I are going away this weekend and I have just picked out some sexy outfits and some toys and will do my best to enjoy our adult alone time.

See a psychosexual therapist, they can be so helpful with things like this.

It may be perimenopause. I felt the same. I’ve been started on HRT including testosterone which seems to be helping. Might be worth a try

I can't afford private therapy.

Thank you for all the suggestions

I really hope the levo helps.

I don't think it's psychological though, it's just like, no sexual urges physically.

If you don't already do regular exercise, get cracking on that. Join a gym, preferably that's closest to you as the weather is shocking if in the UK. Exercise is perfect for both depression and libido and self esteem.

I can't join a gym but I do have access to a treadmill and wright's.

That's on my plan too

I took soy isoflavanes while ttc and OMG do they increase libido.

In some parts of the UK psychosexual therapy is available on the NHS, so can be worth asking.
If you like reading there are some great books. Come as you are by Emily Nagoski and Lori Brotto’s Better Sex through mindfulness are worth a read/listen. Both have work books too that go alongside which are useful.

That's interesting. Do you have any particular brand or product that you'd recommend? I'm wary of trying testosterone if there's a natural alternative that could work for me.

She's on thyroxine. I don't think it's a good idea to take soya isoflavones while her thyroid hormone levels are being stabilised. It's going to make her blood tests give out confusing results

Ginseng always makes me horny, I take it for energy and it’s not ideal as I’m single so leaves me frustrated!

Testosterone makes a huge difference.

I’ve been taking testerone for 4 months and it has made no difference to my libido at all (I’m 51 and on HRT) watching this thread hoping for an answer.

I absolutely don't want to take that.

Hi OP,

I haven’t read it myself but have heard good things about the book ‘Come as you are’. I think it’s by an American author but a friend swore it helped her a lot.

It made absolutely zero difference to my (low) libido.

Incidentally, Viagra doesn’t improve libido in men either.

OP, my libido died at 32 and I thought it was a physical issue. I went to see a gynaecologist twice, saw a therapist, took various supplements. It was miserable and causing hell in my relationship.

It turns out the relationship was the problem - I simply wasn’t attracted to exDP.

A few months after the relationship ended my libido came back. I was thrilled and have had fantastic, non-painful sex since.

So could it just be that you’re in the wrong relationship?

I'm almost 40 and have the same problem. I don't even want to cuddle because I worry my husband will want sex and be disappointed. Not sure what to do about it but know you're not alone, and I'm also following this thread for ideas.

Absolutely not.

I love him to death and am so attracted to him, I sit and watch him drive and think he's so sexy but my bits just don't seem to connect to my brain anymore.

I don't even want to masturbate and I used to do that alot years ago, on top of sex.

Sounds like perimenopause to me, OP.

As a previous poster said, give the thyroxine time to get into your system. Being hypothyroid kills libido, among many other symptoms, mental and physical, so there's every chance it will return naturally as your thyroid levels increase and then stabilise.

In the meantime exercise, eat healthy food and gets lots of sleep. Your body is in recovery mode at the moment but you should soon feel much better all round.