Name changed as could be outing, also apologies I feel like this is a fairly common one!
I have been with my partner for over 3 years and it's honestly a brilliant relationship. We love each other dearly, we really understand each other, have common interests, and have supported each other through some quite difficult times. We are in our mid-30s.
The only issue is that he is not interested in sex at all. The first few times we met up it went as you would expect, but suddenly it fell off a fairly dramatic cliff. Since the first month or so of our relationship I can count on one hand, and list, all the times we've had sex. This is difficult for me because I have a fairly average sex drive, and also I really appreciate the intimacy of touch.
My partner is neurodivergent (as am I), and is also on quite a lot of medication, some of which is almost certainly the reason for his low libido, and also has longstanding issues with fatigue. He says that whilst he's never had a high libido, and is definitely not asexual, it was never as dead before he started taking this medication. It's as though he doesn't even think about it all (in fact, I know he rarely does!). We cuddle and kiss on a daily basis, but it pretty much never turns into anything more. In the earlier days I would attempt to get things going, but it would always become very clear that he didn't want me to be doing that, so obviously I would stop. And now I very rarely try at all, because I don't want to be doing something he isn't feeling. Instead I verbally float the idea every couple of months, and sometimes it turns into something in the next few days, but most of the time it doesn't. When we have had sex it is always entirely driven by his libido, and I always feel I have to sort of take the opportunity because I don't know when it will come up again (however if I said I wasn't feeling like it he would absolutely abandon the idea). I have tried things like "shall we just be intimate without having sex" aka being naked etc, but if he's not feeling it then it just feels like he's desperate to go and do something else.
I love him very, very, very much, and I can see my whole life with him, but I just miss sex awfully. He isn't open to any sort of open arrangement, and tbh it's not really what I would want either. I want to have sex with him. When we talk about it he expresses a wish to sort it out, and says he "misses being horny", but he's quite awkward so a lot of the things he could do asides from changing medication don't appeal to him. He has also expressed that things like me wearing nice underwear etc are not appealing to him. At the moment I can manage, and being with him is worth more than sex, but I can't guarantee I will always feel that way. I'm just not really sure what to do. Advice, please?