My partner doesn't talk to me when he "can't be bothered with anything" g

[qisica]

He takes random weird moods when he can't be bothered with "anything" and wants peace from me and the kids

So we will sit in different rooms which I don't mind and like. I enjoy my own tv show and time alone.

The problem is after that he will still be in a mood and if I try to talk to him, he acts like he didn't hear me or gives me one worded answers. So naturally I think I've done something wrong and just simply ask rather than wonder on it. And he gives me nothing then says it's me asking questions that's put him in that mood? Yet I didn't ask a question until it feels like he can't stand me? I ask things like have I upset you? Do you need time to yourself? What's wrong? Normal questions when someone is off with you.

He claims I just constantly ask questions. He made a comment about my weight (I was very underweight and now I'm a heathly weight) he made a comment about it so I questioned it saying aw have I gained too much now? And does it look bad now? And he then goes off saying all I do is question him

When comments are made or he takes moods I ask why? Or explain?

How do I get this to stop? It's like walking on egg shells and I have no idea what's wrong or what I did?

He won't change. Look at the history. If he was going to, he'd have done it by now.

Why would he change? He gets his own way all the time and all he has to do is pretend he's going to do better every now and then. It's the perfect set up for him.

Also, it doesn't matter why he's like this. Don't let yourself get bogged down in analysing him. Some people are just dickheads. They might have redeeming characteristics, but don't cling on to those. Dating one of life's dickheads is guaranteed to lead to misery.

What is his dad's name?

You could always refer to him as his dad's name when he starts being a miserable prick... "Okay 'Dave' (eye roll)".

Or just leave him altogether.. it is absolute rubbish that he hasn't treated his previous partners this way, they probably just didn't tie themselves into knots wondering what part of their behaviour makes him act that way.. (I'll give you a clue: it isn't them or you that is the problem)

He isn't going to change. He might do it temporarily, but he won't do it for good. It's who he is.

If he thought you were going to leave, he'd make promises and change for a few days, even weeks, until he'd reeled you back in. Just enough to keep you there. Because he likes control. He likes to have people walking on eggshells. He likes the power. And he needs you around in order to exert that power. So he'll make promises and cry and say he's sorry and then he'll revert to his real self once he's confident you're sticking around.

He is moody and sulky and abuses you and your children with silence. He then tells you it's all your fault.

Stop playing his game. If he ignores you, just carry on with your day. Don't be obviously rude or upset, just act as though you haven't noticed he's in a mood. Ask him if he wants to come out with you and the children. If he says no, cheerily say 'Bye then! We're off' and go and have a lovely time with your children.

Don't tiptoe around him. Don't apologise when you've done nothing wrong. Don't beg him to tell you what's wrong.

If he's being abusive - that's what he wants you to do and he enjoys the power of making you squirm.

If he isn't being abusive - he genuinely wants some peace so the worst thing you can do is talk to him. (By the way it isn't this - he is abusive. And parents don't get to opt out of looking after their own children just because they 'want some peace').

Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing he's upset / confused you. Just go about your day normally. It's what your children deserve, and it's what you deserve, and it takes all the power out of his abuse.

But really - leave him. You and your children will be happier. And the risk if you stay with him is your children will grow up to emulate him, or to partner up with someone like him. WOuld you want that for them?