Single in 50's & would love to meet someone but it's not happening.

[ProseccoOnTap]

I'm 52 & divorced for 5 years now after a pretty unhappy relationship with my children's father - they are now 15 & 11.

I wasn't ready to meet someone for a good few years afterwards & I have built a pretty good single life - plenty of friends, good social life, happy family relationships & my career is good.

But I've been ready to meet someone for a while & just cannot seem to do so.

I managed a 4-5 month relationship with a man last year but he got fed up with my limitations (I have majority care of my children who go to their father mid-week & EOW - they do not want to go more).

Since then I've tried OLD but just find it pretty awful - ghosting, sleazeballs, men looking for casual sex, married men, ego-boosters etc.

I've tried speed dating, singles socials, etc.

Unfortunately I work in a female-dominated profession/environment- there are literally no men & the few are married.

With my child contact pattern I have limited opportunities for hobbies, and don't want to waste my precious child-free time taking up a blokey-type hobby for the sake of it.

I am happy in myself, and have a full life, but just don't want to be alone forever - and that's the way it seems to be going.

I just can't see myself ever meeting someone & feel really sad about that. I don't want to go in to retirement or see my days alone.

Don't know what I'm looking for here, but please no "who needs a man" replies!

Mine are 17 and 10. 17 year old never sees her Dad and lives with me 24/7. Youngest sees their Dad half the holidays - that is it.

I’m 50 met someone on Bumble after 3 years of very ‘high bar’ dating. I had rules and if you didn’t follow them you didn’t get messaging never mind a date. It was grim and depressing.

He did what he said he was going to do eg phone at 8 he phoned. He just does.

His children are grown up (late 20s), and they all get on. It works. Best sex of my entire life with him and he’s moved it now and we are buying a new house.

Keep going.

Thanks for the encouragement and nice to hear a positive story.- it just seems so difficult- all my friends are in relationships.

Those that met via online dating seem to have really persisted with it, but met in their 40's - it seems to be a different kettle of fish at this age.

I do have high standards/good boundaries so don't get many dates through that.

Just really hard to believe there is someone out there for me

It sounds like you met someone much older? I think OP is fishing in the 50-something pool. I’ve heard that this pool is particularly bad in OLD.

I felt like this several years ago. Really was very sad not to have someone in my life. But as time has passed I’ve changed and am now very happy to be single and shudder at the thought of being anything else. This isn’t a “who needs a man?” reply. Just a “time changes everything“ one.
take heart. xx

Thanks @Andwhatfreshhellisthis - I felt like that for a good few years after my ex & I split, but now my feelings have changed the other way.

50's seems to be a particularly difficult age, especially when you have yoiung-ish children- that seems to be off-putting off men as well.

@ProseccoOnTap it is difficult because if I'm truthful, having youngish children and having to do child things every weekend puts me off a man, I'm mid-fifties, and there are lots of slightly older dads around and I've left all that behind now.

The thing is, it might not happen right now, but it will happen if you are open to it. You met someone last year, had a good few months, it didn't work out but if it's happened then, it will happen again, perhaps when you get more time to yourself as your dd ages and becomes more independent.

My mum found someone when she was in her early sixties so it's all out there, it just takes time and I agree OD is a bit of a cesspit.

I'm
In my 30s and could have written your post!