Anyone ever regretted partner getting the snip?

[9876v]

:Together for 4 years, I'm 33, DP 8 years older, we are engaged. Blended family - I've a DC8 from unplanned pregnancy in my twenties, father isn't involved at all, so have him 100% of the time. Two slightly older DSC have 50% of time my DP shares custody with ex. All the kids get on pretty well, love my DSC, they are pretty amazing kids. I have a career that I love and various hobbies I enjoy.

To cut a long story short, don't get on well with hormonal contraception so use copper coil, but it affects my periods badly. DP said he would get a vasectomy.

I don't feel like I want more kids, I feel it would upset the dynamic of our blended family and complicate things. Part of me feels like it would be unfair on my child who has never had his father in his life if I have another child who does. I don't know if I want to go through child rearing all over again in my 30s. I want to be able to travel in my early 40s by which time all the kids will be adults. My career is pretty demanding and I want to be able to focus on that and use the time I do have for my child and blended family. DP doesn't want more kids, but might agree if I did and pushed him into it....but I wouldn't want to do that.

BUT....will we suddenly change our minds in a couple of years? Has anyone's partner got the snip and then one or both of you regretted it?

what?!

Not sure I would want more children if the existing ones died violent deaths

Since the copper coil that I've had for around 4 years yes!

Yes it is a good balance, each having own children who we have main responsibility for and who get on fine together. I'm worried if we had children together it would trigger many of the resentments and complications I see with blended families on here.

@9876v The copper coil gave me heavy periods as well and then the darn thing came out when I was doing Pilates! I had another one fitted and that started coming out after a few weeks. My doctor said that some women can’t tolerate them so I’d need to find an alternative. DH had already been talking about having a vasectomy so he booked it.

It doesn’t sound as if the coil suits you well either.

No, it remained horrendous and I didn’t have it in long. I’d not leave the house for about 2 days every month. I read that the copper can pre-dispose you to excessive bleeding even after removal. Happily I never bled again after the ablation.

And cracking out a couple of replacements would sort out the grief and get life back to normal?

Muppet.

Best thing I ever did and it didn't really hurt

@9876v Going a bit against the grain here, but I'd say don't do it. You do not sound like you are both sure, honestly. You may change your mind in the future if you do not have one together.

Wtaf! No other children would replace the ones lost! They're irreplaceable, geez

No regrets for me and dh, we knew after 2 we were done

@Berlinlover I can't believe you even said that. Children are irreplaceable.

Only do it you’re absolutely certain you won’t want a baby. My DP had a previous vasectomy when we met, and we had to pay £6.5k to reverse it privately.

@Boltonb Yes, you should be 100% sure. DH and I discussed all the scenarios- if we split up and he met someone else, if we lost a child -basically were there any circumstances under which he might want another child?

He was sure that he wouldn’t so he had it done.