Stag do help

[Annoni]

H2b had his stag do last year
best man booked a stripper for him even though he said he didn’t want one, wasn’t overly happy but is what it is,
fast forward to this year another friend (a) stag do and the usual what’s app group.
next thing there is a video of said stripper floating about sent by friend (a)
he has been told to cool it with stag chat as is seems to get mentioned at every bbq, gathering
I being told I’m just kicking off for no reason and it’s just what lads do.
am I being sensitive but I do feel upset again that it’s being brought up again
im toying with bailing on couple wedding as don’t feel very warm towards him for sending video, among other things to do with the wedding
such as buying the bar stock to sell for a profit to pay for the wedding
selling vapes again for profit
couple like to tell after having a few drinks what they can sell the drinks they have bought for

CBA with the dramas, wouldn't be going.

It might be what " lads" do but it's not what decent adult men do.
I wouldn't be impressed with your partner's friendship group and would be concerned that this is the type of people he mixes with.
And I think you are right to not to want to go to the wedding.

Yes do agree
I just don’t know why it’s the done thing like now
worse part is I feel like by not going it will cause even more drama
it’s a tough call

Friend A is a sleazy, disprespectful dick. I would be less than impressed if my other half liked spending time with someone like that. Although you can't interfere in his friendship, you can definitely make the choice not to be in his presence.

Yup 100% agree. I’m just not sure how it’s going to look not going to their wedding
if I’m going to come off looking worse than feeling crappy about going

Well tbh I think if you go to the wedding and mix with these people you are setting yourself up for accepting a lot more unpleasant and disrespectful behaviour from your partner's friendship group in the future.
So what if it does ruffle feathers? The men in the group are happy to disrespect you and your feelings re the stripper video. I think you should do what's best for you and not bother about what these people think.

The day I marry a ‘lad’ is the day hell freezes over. Think carefully if you want this to be your life.

Running the bar and selling vapes to try and profit from guests? - that's a new level of Wedding CF. If they're also generally being arses I'd give the whole thing a miss.

Yep
ive been asked 3 times how much wine do I think I’ll drink
they have gone out and bought the particular wine I like “so I have something to drink”
and also been told from the bride I’m making money that’s all the matters.
my plan was to get one of them little wine bags with a tap and take my own

I don’t necessarily have a problem with a stripper being booked on the stag do
its more the fact it keeps getting brought up and now a video

Thank god he's not yet your Husband.

If you marry him OP you'll be stuck with this behaviour and these people forever, while there are decent Men out there who respect Women and do not act like perpetual horny teenage boys.

Well if your partner and his friends know you are OK with them booking strippers then actually they are reasonable to think you are OK with the behaviour that accompanies " men" who go to strip clubs/ book strippers.

I think you are showing double standards. It would appear you think they can behave how they like so long as you don't see their behaviour.

The strippers and this ... All converge to show you what kind of people they are.

Look into ways to meet new friends & acquaintances.

Oh and I know plenty of men who had no stag cause they couldn't be arsed with that, or had outdoor pursuits stag do's in the middle of nowhere, or similar.

Takes a particular kind of man to act like these guys.

Btw, I don't know where you are, but the most recent stag do I heard about here in Northern Ireland/Ireland; the stripper (Eastern European I think) was actually a prostitute.
(They travelled to a tourist/stag do town in the republic of Ireland.).

The men on the do did much scoffing and laughing at one of them having sex - drunk and high - with the woman in view of everyone.

I was told this by one of the guys on the do, when I asked if the guy was single, the answer was "nah he's got a missus but she's a bit of a nightmare" as if this offset him fucking prostitutes on stag do's in front of their circle.

The focus among the stags was just how crazy and cringe he was. None of that was due to him being attached.

OPs husband had his stag do last year so they’ve been married a while now. Her post is about his friend’s stag do and wedding.

Judging by the couple’s view of their wedding being a money making opportunity I doubt they really care who goes, so I wouldn’t bother about hurting their feelings by not going.

But how will your husband react to you not going because you dislike his friends? He already doesn’t see your point of view.

Does he have friends who are separate to this crowd? If he doesn’t it looks like you’re going to have little shared social life unless you suck it up and go along with their crap forever more. Or until you get shot of this husband and find one who shares your values.

I've read similar stories to this.
They turn my stomach: that some woman is reduced to being a sex doll in front of a group of drunken " men" behaving no better than animals. It exposes exactly how this type of " men" view women.

It beggars belief to me how some woman talk innocently about their partners/ fiances/ etc going on stag dos, often specifically to places with reputations for the sex trade, and yet somehow seem to convince themselves it's innocent " fun". That if anyone does have sex with the stripper, have a private dance, go to a brothel etc then it's not THEIR partner, it's one of the others. Although tbh those watching are little better than the guy actively participating.
The women sanitise these stag dos and tell themselves it's normal. It's not normal amongst decent human beings.

Well i read her post as meaning that
the stripper video was of the stripper at her husbands stag do.
She says the " said stripper". So unless the same stripper was at both stag dos that read to me as though it's a video of her husbands stag do.

The fact they're passing around videos of it on an ongoing basis...... They're tools.

yes that’s right already married
I didn’t know a stripper had been booked for my husband so little I could say about it
I did say I didn’t agree that is was done but just keeps getting brought up time and time again
now a video has surfaced which is the part that’s got to me