I know , I know ….im over reacting ….but…

[Stress1996]

So met my husband 5yrs ago …he’s very sociable, loadsa friends…(.men & women) but he has this one female friend I’m wary of , he used to work with her , i met her briefly a couple of times & she’s nice enough…they lost touch a lot with lockdown plus getting together with me I suppose ….her & dh haven’t seen each other in a social setting since I’ve known him , & the only time he’s seen her on her own is when he dropped a wedding invite round to her. I became fb ‘friends’ with her after dh said that we ought to as ‘we’d get on’ & we’ve commented on each others posts a few times …she commented on dh post once saying it’s about time they went out for tea & cake which I was a bit uneasy about & told dh that it came across as a date , they didn’t meet. She didn’t show up to our wedding with an excuse of “I was so tired” then messaged him a few days later asking if he could help her move & plumb in her new w/machine(baring in mind she has a brother , friends & a part time bf that she could have asked) ….he didn’t reply …I admit I got a bit bitchy and mentioned that she couldn’t be bothered to show up to an important time in dh life so isn’t really a good friend & then has the cheek to ask a big favour and as she has no qualms about seeing married men (she has been seeing a married man for years) I didn’t quite trust her….there was something that didn’t quite sit right with me.
Anyway , i know I’m gonna sound a bit loopy but I’ve just noticed she’s deleted me off fb , not dh though. Said to dh & he rolled his eyes & said that’s what she’s like , comes off fb , goes back on , writes Posts , deletes them , doesn’t allow people to put pics of her on but then puts v arty pics of herself on etc etc
Obviously she has every right to remove people off fb but it just feels a bit weird for some reason.
I’m prob just insecure, over reacting , reading too much into it but I just wanted to have a rant to strangers rather than my dh/friends who will question my sanity lol.

You are giving this woman way too much headspace. Your H sounds vaguely friendly with her at most, but certainly not what you'd call close. He's not gone for cakes with her, plumbed in her washing machine and seems largely to have a casual interest. It's you who seem to be inflating her importance in your lives. Dwelling on her life and motives and her SM. She sounds flakey, not much of a friend and a bit dodgy, with her married man on the go, so keep your distance and stop being preoccupied with her.

I think being her fb friend made it easier to keep an eye on her , what do they say “keep your enemies close” or something like that.

You are so right ….& I agree totally. I wouldn’t even have been giving her a second thought had it not been for the deleted fb friend thing.

I'm going to say they have had sex before you came along. Sorry op but that's my opinion on it.

Not sure why your husband gave her a personal wedding invitation.

You seem jealous of the relationship between her and your husband. She deleted you as you’re not really friends.

I agree with the poster who said there is something between them, either previous sexual relationship or your husband fancies her.

I think this too

No , I’m 100% sure they didn’t. I do think in his eyes they’re just friends …like I say he has loadsa friends , men & women , always has had since he was a kid.
I don’t even think she fancies him , I just think she’s one of these women who likes to have men at her beck & call ….

I gave out all my side (friends/family) & he gave out his.
Yes , I suppose I am jealous …..they worked together for a few years ….after his 1st marriage fell apart he needed extra money so took on a second job …..& apparently they used to ‘have a laugh’ , I dunno maybe I just feel like she knows a side of him I don’t know ..he dated her friend for a short while b4 me.
And it could just be as simple as her deleting people who she’s not close to ….but that doesn’t explain why she hasn’t deleted our male friend who she’s only briefly met a couple of times.

From experience, I'd agree with you, OP.

Situations like this can be very stressful, unpleasant and ultimately don't end easily or particularly well. It can be a very tricky one to navigate.

I've already explained a possible reason for her deleting you. It's the simplest that also explains why she hasn't deleted other people she's not close to.

People like to find ways of making it the man's fault because they simply don't believe women are capable of behaving like this.

The thing is , she comes across as sweet & innocent …..but any women who messages a newly married man asking him to come round & check ‘diy’ stuff is either stupid or most definitely not innocent in my book.
I know 100% that they haven’t seen each other since b4 our wedding (year ago) , I’m hoping that he would tell me if she messages him though.

I completely agree with you.