I don't know what to do about this 1 , and to note this was always the way before children and before I was in the picture. OH makes all the effort I'd say 90% of the time, just to be in contact with his family 2 sisters 1 brother and mother. All siblings are over 20, grown, own places, 1 sister has 2 kids and partner. They only come around when need help/money or for OH to do something including running errands for them. And I feel they take advantage of his generosity. We've been going through a rough time as he was made redundant recently so it's been really hard for us both; he's still the one calling in to check on his family/siblings.
He goes above and beyond for them , buys big gifts for his sister's kids, and it so forced whenever we meet with them.
I go along as he wants me there too with the kids and I'm supporting him but if it were up to me I'd have nothing else to do with them.They're all very selfish, we always have to travel to them or call them if we want any contact. His sister's daughter will be 1 on the weekend it's a big forced family outing to make sure we A
all go there but on our children's birthday they didn't bother to call or come to his party! His mum makes no effort with the kids but expects them to come running with cuddles and kisses. My 18month old has seen her maybe 3/4 times and won't go to her, he seems scared, but OH really forces it for his mum to hold him etc. and he screams the place down. And his mum makes comments like 'Oh I'm a stranger.' She's always busy doing her hair/nails or on holiday for us to visit often. They've been to our new house once. His mum missed 1st birthday and both christenings. They are just not interested but OH is never gonna cut them out nor would I expect him to but you can tell he's really trying and making such an effort and it's never returned.
They have this sense of entitlement that OH should always make the effort and not them. He's the eldest not sure if that has something to do with it.
It just instantly gets my back up whenever he's on the phone to his sister because I know it's cos she wants something. And he'll do it no questions asked.
She let us down for my son's 4th birthday because she doesn't like driving but we have to stop all plans so we can go to her child's party. We've gone to visit and next minute OH has gone shopping for his sister buying nappies or his mum's groceries. We don't even live in their city and his sister has a partner who was there!!!
It's like they wait for him to visit and get him to do all their errands because he won't say no.
He doesn't see it as a big issue either like he's trying to please them. But for our family they always let us and OH down it's not even about me. Makes me sad for him though.