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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice needed (losing my mind) :(

2 replies

Mummyto4boys1122 · 20/08/2024 14:25

Need advice (can be brutally honest)
im going to sound so pathetic but im hurting badly about this

been with my ex partner 16 years basically childhood sweethearts, after a traumatic event in our lives I developed ptsd and pushed him away for a couple of months, anyway he eventually told me he didn’t want to be with me but we stayed living together for the kids, well as soon as we split he tells me he has made a female friend” they only spoke on the school drop off, and and at an activity the kids done, I obviously felt upset about this as he wasn’t being nice to me at this time and my heart was broken and felt he had turned to another women at my worse, I begged him back and changed my ways put more effort in to myself and really did try for him but he was adamant he was done, last month he finally told me after me asking for months if anything more was going on, that he had slept with this women on 2 occasions 2 months after we split and it had been eating away at him and he felt he needed to tell me, he now is in no contact with this person, we still live together and are ok co parenting and being a family ( not together as in A relationship) but I’m still really hurting, everyday is hard thinking all the time she’s going to come back in to the picture, always thinking he will go back to her I know it’s pathetic as we’re not even together but he’s all iv known we were together from a young age and been through so much together I can’t seem to let go but then this is killing me everyday and causing a lot of tension and he’s fed up of me going on about it and tbh I’m fed up of feeling it sorry for rambling I know it would be best if we don’t live together but for now it’s not an option is it normal for me to think constantly about what’s happened and be paranoid all the time

OP posts:
Myfavouriteflowers · 20/08/2024 16:48

You say OP that it would be better if you weren't living together and that really is the crux of things. This going on " as normal" in front of the children, to all intents and purposes still a couple, but not a couple, must just be so confusing.

So it's understandable you are feeling hurt and upset about this other woman , although technically your ex partner was free to do what he did as you are no longer a couple.

I really don't see how you can move on mentally and emotionally until you live separately and live seperate lives apart from the necessary contact over the children.

Have you explored all the possibilities as regards living separately.

Boomer55 · 20/08/2024 17:02

He’s moved on. You really need to sort out separate homes.

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