Hi I'm recently dating a guy, few months, and want some advice if possible? I'm an abuse survivor, early childhood and into my earlier adult relationships, so it's good to get other opinions. I've done lots of work over the last ten years or more but always need to keep aware.
He seems pretty nice. We are both in our fifties. No red flags I can see as yet. Overall though a bit disorganised and vague at times with some memory issues that have been lifelong I think rather than recent. So I wondered whether to attribute the following to that perhaps I.e. just not thinking..or whether you thought this was normal as I haven't had a huge number of 'normal' i.e. genuine, loving relationships.
So we've had some good sex (as well as enjoying lots of other good things together). However recently there was a situation where I started it and ended up doing all the work, by hand. This was the first time it happened. He wasn't very connected to me at all and didn't seem bothered by it afterwards. It felt weird and is still troubling me. Later on I mentioned it and he did apologise but gave an excuse that I didn't really believe. So I'd like to know your thoughts, if any. I recognise that I have lots of baggage around this too. Please be gentle as this stuff can be raw even many years later. Thank you.