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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel uncomfortable around partners dad

2 replies

Katie275 · 19/08/2024 07:29

Ever since my little boy was born 3 months ago my partners dad gives me serious ick. First of all, he showed up at the hospital twice unannounced when I was alone trying to bond with my baby, barely dressed. He also actually told hospital security that he thought there was something wrong (there wasn’t!!) to get in outside of visiting hours. Had to have words with my partner but he just sort of excused it as that’s how he is, he can be socially inappropriate and just a bit of a clown in general. A few weeks later, he went on my instagram page and liked a post where I was in a bathing suit, this was from years ago so he would have had to scroll back. I found this inappropriate especially not long after invading my privacy in the hospital when I was in my most vulnerable state, and would have found it hard to speak up then. I’m finding myself now wanting to skip family gatherings when he’ll be there, which are more frequent now as naturally they want to see the baby. I think my partner senses something although I am reluctant to bring this up as I don’t want to hurt his feelings by speaking negatively of his dad. He doesn’t seem to read my body language either that I don’t want to be greeted with a kiss on my face, I will physically lean back but he’ll still manage to land one on my cheek / head which now honestly makes my body want to jump out of my skin. I never really got creepy vibes off him before then again I wouldn’t have seen him very often, so sometimes I find myself wondering if I’m being overly sensitive. I’m still trying to navigate being a new mum and all the feelings that go with it. He’s made comments to my partner about us being an attractive couple and commented on my appearance post partum (look at you!!). Whether these are well intended or what I feel uneasy about an older male making any comments on my appearance. Any advice on how to handle this as it’s actually causing so much stress :-(

OP posts:
Disturbia81 · 19/08/2024 09:23

He's disgusting, what a grim grim man. Your husband/partner needs to step in here

Coz97 · 19/08/2024 09:34

Gross. You need to sit down and talk to your partner again and express just how uncomfortable you are. Make sure he knows the seriousness of the situation and that it has to change. It's an unpleasant situation to be in

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