Not one clue and now what…

[Noclueatall45]

Ex husband had an affair with another married women which ended our marriage. Young children involved on both sides. Very sad and painful. We are now divorcing and speak about children, nothing more.
I am in therapy as 15 year marriage ended with huge trauma. Since the affair was discovered I have had two people contact me to say that as far back as when we were first newly married, my husband was cheating. I have also discovered an affair with an acquaintance.
My ex doesn’t know I know this and I haven’t asked him although I want to, just to ask how. We were together from teenagers and I feel I didn’t know him at all despite having children together and feeling like I knew him inside out. He was always described as a gentleman. Should I ask him about the other affairs? I doubt I will get an honest answer.
For those who have affairs or know and don’t tell, please consider the spouse on the other side.

I am so sorry, this is just awful. I went through similar although no children involved thankfully. I found out 3 years ago and I regret not speaking to OW husband. I remember as you say, being in such trauma because of the way I found out and the utter shock, I just didn’t think about confronting either OW or her husband. I did see OW (with my husband) three months after the initial discovery and I lost my shit royaly, but I didn’t speak to her husband. She told her he already knew, high I doubted. I still wish I had, and I still might too. I don’t know. Even under these circumstances I hate confrontation.

We are now divorcing and iv found out about further indescrestions since, during the 12 months he was desperately trying to get me to reconsider. I had to tell my husband I knew about these other women, it just ate me up that I knew, and he didn’t know I knew. I wouldn’t say I did it in the right way, I threw their names in his face mid argument, but otherwise it just sat inside me making me more and more angry that he thought he had pulled the wool over my eyes!

So I think I’d say something. It makes no difference to the outcome I know, but it does make you feel slightly better that he knows you know, in my opinion xx